Normal, what is it?

[Gallstones]

"Normal" is based on "norm", which is defined as "a standard, model, or pattern regarded as typical".

In so far as "normal" is defined as a statistic of some aspect or another in our lives as individuals, we all have plenty of it. Being male, for instance, I am normal insofar as I have a penis. If I was born and raised in Saudi Arabia, it would be normal for me to have attitudes about women that the majority of middle class west Europeans would normally find utterly disgusting. If I was born and raised in the USA, it would be more likely to view myself as a unique individual who cannot rightfully be pigeonholed as being normal, even though my views concerning the notion of individualism would be more normal there than anywhere else in occidental cultures.

I know I am not "normal". Thing is, I don't want to be.

From what I said above, this sentiment makes you overwhelmingly normal.

Seraph, I am bipolar.

Sorry for the misunderstanding. I thought you were talking about the meaning of the term "normal" in the social sense rather than mental peculiarities of neurological origin. Do carry on.

No Seraph, I just wanted to clarify why this came up for me. I think the direction you are going is still pertinent because it involves functioning in society and impacts the experiences of those who don't fit in well with expectations for a variety of reasons and those around them.

Please, I would hope you would continue to contribute.
I very much want perspectives that I, as a singular individual, can not have and can not know unless someone suggests them.

For instance, I was told that when a person is in a depressed state they tend to be very selfish. That didn't resonate until I had time to let the idea gel and observe myself. I found it very interesting and very true. Even though I have no solution for it. It was a kind of selfishness that I have never considered before. Prior, I would have sworn that I was not and could not be selfish when depressed.

[Gallstones]

Hades, I read a book written by a Psychologist who is also bipolar. It was about her thesis that exceptionally creative persons seem to be affected more than normal people. I have mentioned this somewhere else. There was much in the book that I can't recall exactly, but it was the first time--given my family culture--that I saw how being what I am has dignity. Dignity was what had been missing before. I think you allude to that. The necessity to pretend and withhold and apologize and self blame and fear being unacceptable to life. That my "difference" (I hate the terms illness and disorder and disease) was all that I was. It isn't. I see it more as a privilege now than a defect.

Anyway that is what happens to me.

In addition to dignity, I was able to assuage the fear that I would end up psychotic. My maternal grandmother was a psychiatric nurse in the 50's and 60's. Her stories terrified me.

Jamison's Touched With Fire ?

I've got it. And yeah, we're in good company.

Yes. I found her essay on George Gordon Byron to be the most validating.

But it's still difficult to see how even educated people think my diagnosis means any moment I'll be up on the roof in a tutu, wielding a gun.

Thus the need for self preservation and the pretending and withholding and the tendency for people to not consult a professional when they need to. In my family it is a source of shame not to be talked about and the affected person is blamed as if s/he is willfully doing something "bad" just to cause trouble. And then there is guilt when a parent is told that it runs in families and the parent resents the affected person for getting the family disease.

I am estranged from my father because of this. His choice, not mine.

I will never get over the dead silence and abrupt change of topic when I have disclosed to a cousin or my mother. I could feel the discomfort even over the phone.

Those kinds of things.

[Gallstones]

I have this book "The Perfectly Normal Madness", by Francois Lelord and Christoph André. They describe all disorders and how we all fall somewhere on the continuum. We are all mad and normal at the same time.

Hey, you just described my life

Not everyone likes the mad episodes--the manias. I love them.

[Gallstones]

This is really confusing

[Gallstones]

Maybe we can just get together to feel Normal.

Maybe we can convince him to shave down there. I've never had the opportunity to feel hairless balls.

[Warren Dew]

It appears you are using "normal" in the sense of "neurotypical".

What do you think about people who are not normal?

Those who realize it are more sensible than neurotypical people in at least one respect: they don't expect everyone to be the same as them.

[Warren Dew]

I think you should go back on your meds. You seemed to have had a radical behavior change during the ratskep times, and I long suspected the cause was lack of medication.

The "behavior change" I saw appeared to be a switch from being an objective moderator to being an opinionated individual poster. That's a change in role, not a change in personality.

[Gallstones]

It appears you are using "normal" in the sense of "neurotypical".

Probably. But I want the discussion to be open to all ideas on normality because the consequences for all types of atypical behavior will overlap.

What do you think about people who are not normal?

Those who realize it are more sensible than neurotypical people in at least one respect: they don't expect everyone to be the same as them.

Good point.

[Gallstones]

I think you should go back on your meds. You seemed to have had a radical behavior change during the ratskep times, and I long suspected the cause was lack of medication.

The "behavior change" I saw appeared to be a switch from being an objective moderator to being an opinionated individual poster. That's a change in role, not a change in personality.

2010 was a very bad year for me, I was maximally stressed and distressed due to multiple bad events.
More of my personality...came to the fore as result, so to speak.

[Gallstones]

Seraph's post brought this to mind, if a person has Tourettes, the kind that causes them to blurt profanity and this person is a female living in Saudi Arabia, what might happen to her?

[hadespussercats]

Maybe we can just get together to feel Normal.

Maybe we can convince him to shave down there. I've never had the opportunity to feel hairless balls.

But wait-- hairless balls aren't normal, are they?

[Gallstones]

Maybe we can just get together to feel Normal.

Maybe we can convince him to shave down there. I've never had the opportunity to feel hairless balls.

But wait-- hairless balls aren't normal, are they?

• 

Where's my tutu, I feel like climbing.

[mistermack]

We start to crave being normal at about the same age that we become sexually aware.
From an evolutionary perspective, it's the age where we lose the protection of our parents, and start to make alliances with others of the same age.
You want to fit in perfectly with a strong "gang" as a form of protection, and to achieve status in a tribal society.

The pressures to be normal are very powerful. In a country where girls shave their armpits, you won't find many that rebel against it, even though it's perfectly natural.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Seraph's post brought this to mind, if a person has Tourettes, the kind that causes them to blurt profanity and this person is a female living in Saudi Arabia, what might happen to her?

She'd be either sold or killed.

[Gallstones]

We start to crave being normal at about the same age that we become sexually aware.
From an evolutionary perspective, it's the age where we lose the protection of our parents, and start to make alliances with others of the same age.
You want to fit in perfectly with a strong "gang" as a form of protection, and to achieve status in a tribal society.

The pressures to be normal are very powerful. In a country where girls shave their armpits, you won't find many that rebel against it, even though it's perfectly natural.

Yes. And then one matures and realizes the practical benefits of a hairless armpit.


In case you're interested, I never have to shave my legs. I'm just lucky that way.