75, 77 or whatever the number is, where do all the virgins?

[hadespussercats]

Well, wouldn't that depend on how mch you liked raisins?

I suppose there are people who are sexually satisfied by eating a raisin. Probably not that many, though-- certainly not enough to mount a propaganda campaign based on that premise. MMMMmmmm! Raisins! I looooooove raisins!

[Trolldor]

Well, wouldn't that depend on how mch you liked raisins?

I suppose there are people who are sexually satisfied by eating a raisin. Probably not that many, though-- certainly not enough to mount a propaganda campaign based on that premise. MMMMmmmm! Raisins! I looooooove raisins!

Well, I mean, if you look at the Burqa you've essentially got a walk Raisin. I suspect Raisin d'etre..

[JimC]

Well, wouldn't that depend on how mch you liked raisins?

I suppose there are people who are sexually satisfied by eating a raisin. Probably not that many, though-- certainly not enough to mount a propaganda campaign based on that premise. MMMMmmmm! Raisins! I looooooove raisins!

Well, I mean, if you look at the Burqa you've essentially got a walk Raisin. I suspect Raisin d'etre..

I already made that joke!

[Salim Munqith]

I've heard that "virgins" is actually a mis-reading or mis-translation of the text, which actually says "raisins."

That would be disappointing. Even if you really liked raisins.

It's quite surprising for me that such an extremely rubbish claim has managed to circulate among westerners. Dawkins himself mentioned this claim.
This claim came out from a smart ass German orientalist who wrote a stupid book reinterpreting the Quran in the light of the Aramaic language!!!! Meaning that all the "mis-translations" he discovered were actually discovered for the first time by this smart ass author who outstanded all the Arabic language scientists during the past 1400 years who unanimously stated that "Hoor Ein" means "maidens with big black and white lovely eyes", which is usually translated in English as "Virgins".
Moreover, many of the "virgins" verses describe them in a sexual way, giving no way for the genius "grapes" theory.
For example, the Quran says:
The pious ones will be triumphant (78:31).
They will have gardens and vineyards, (78:32) maidens with pears-shaped breasts who are of equal age (78:33) and cups full of wine (78:34).
http://almubin.tripod.com/mdsarwar.htm

Now tell me that "Maidens with pears-shaped breasts" is actually about grapes! grapes with such lovely boobs?? they are then one hell of delicious grapes.
Let's not forget that there are so many sayings of Muhammad describing those "grapes " in a very sexual way.
Of course you can guess that if any Arab hears of this "grapes " theory, he will laugh to death.
Aren't there any grapes around here? I am just a little bored.

[hadespussercats]

I've heard that "virgins" is actually a mis-reading or mis-translation of the text, which actually says "raisins."

That would be disappointing. Even if you really liked raisins.

It's quite surprising for me that such an extremely rubbish claim has managed to circulate among westerners. Dawkins himself mentioned this claim.
This claim came out from a smart ass German orientalist who wrote a stupid book reinterpreting the Quran in the light of the Aramaic language!!!! Meaning that all the "mis-translations" he discovered were actually discovered for the first time by this smart ass author who outstanded all the Arabic language scientists during the past 1400 years who unanimously stated that "Hoor Ein" means "maidens with big black and white lovely eyes", which is usually translated in English as "Virgins".
Moreover, many of the "virgins" verses describe them in a sexual way, giving no way for the genius "grapes" theory.
For example, the Quran says:
The pious ones will be triumphant (78:31).
They will have gardens and vineyards, (78:32) maidens with pears-shaped breasts who are of equal age (78:33) and cups full of wine (78:34).
http://almubin.tripod.com/mdsarwar.htm

Now tell me that "Maidens with pears-shaped breasts" is actually about grapes! grapes with such lovely boobs?? they are then one hell of delicious grapes.
Let's not forget that there are so many sayings of Muhammad describing those "grapes " in a very sexual way.
Of course you can guess that if any Arab hears of this "grapes " theory, he will laugh to death.
Aren't there any grapes around here? I am just a little bored.

I did point out that it was only hearsay. Still, thanks for setting the record straight on that one. I'm glad to know the suicide bombers are indeed dying for a good cause.

[JimC]

Vergin' on the ridiculous...

[Trolldor]

[charlou]

[youtubeuk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwooM4yhiiY[/youtubeuk]

Billy has gotten even grittier as he's aged :twisted:

[FBM]

He's always funny as shit!

I'll bet it'd be even funnier if I could understand more than 0.035% of what he was saying...

[Trolldor]

[youtubeuk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwooM4yhiiY[/youtubeuk]

Billy has gotten even grittier as he's aged :twisted:

Funniest part is his Christian Rock piss take...

[charlou]

hayeah ... that whole night rocked ... like this

[youtubeuk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNmRVNWapg4[/youtubeuk]

[hadespussercats]

Vergin' on the ridiculous...

Indeed. I think I'll go eat some raisins.

[hadespussercats]

[youtubeuk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwooM4yhiiY[/youtubeuk]

Billy has gotten even grittier as he's aged :twisted:

Also-- this clip was awesome. I've seen some of his stand-up, but it can be hard to come by in the States. Thanks for posting it.

[mandy]

I'm a bit puzzed. Where is alun getting all these virgins from. Cant be enough women who died before sexual intercourse corrupts their dear souls, but old enough (I know 9 and over) to be 'useful' in this context.

So are these 'virgins' women who have never lived on earth, that alun is manufacturing for this purpose. I'd guess that someone who has never gone thru life and grown up, would be a bit like a vegtable or zombie.

Or is alun fixing women who have lost their virginity, after all any half decent cosmetic surgeon today could do it if required. Cloning is another possabilty, find a real hottie who likes cock and clone a couple of thousand copies.

Are they all muslim, or can god choose from the infidels. Does that mean non-muslims can still get to heaven?

Could you end up with your brothers ex-wife, or alun-forbid your grandmother.

Where is mandy when you need these pesky questions answered.

its not 77 virgins or 75. Allah has made 72 beautiful virgins for every man who makes it to heaven. each group of 72 women are waiting for a man to come and enjoy.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I liked Jon Stewarts response, that once you'd shagged all the virgins, it's more like being stuck with 72 wives, which was not exactly his idea of paradise. 72 wives, to nag you for all of eternity-- ha ha! take that, suicide bombers!

Meh, 72 wives, that's 36 for beers and 36 for sandwiches.