The state of the UK

[Scot Dutchy]

Have another go. The last two posts have fallen well short.

Short of what? I did not come out with a pure insult like some do about the Netherlands is that it?

Ja, Nederland is saai kak

Heb je een idee wat dat betekend? Ik raad voor niet?

[Brian Peacock]

If you're going to talk dirty to each other please do it English style.

[Scot Dutchy]

If you're going to talk dirty to each other please do it English style.

I just respond to his so-called insults.

[JimC]

If you're going to talk dirty to each other please do it English style.

I just respond to his so-called insults.

I'm glad you realise that they are not real insults...

[pErvinalia]

If you're going to talk dirty to each other please do it English style.

Scot's English is so bad that it wouldn't make much difference.

[laklak]

The very best insults are Dutch insults. Seriously. Or at least Afrikaans insults. It's a fucking art form.

[pErvinalia]

Cape Coloureds.

[laklak]

Ja outjie. Jou ma se blut, stank, etter poes.

[rainbow]

Have another go. The last two posts have fallen well short.

Short of what? I did not come out with a pure insult like some do about the Netherlands is that it?

Ja, Nederland is saai kak

Heb je een idee wat dat betekend? Ik raad voor niet?

Yes, the Netherlands bore the shit out of everyone.

[Scot Dutchy]

Ja outjie. Jou ma se blut, stank, etter poes.

Those all and far more came from the Dutch. Do you think the Afrikaners can think? They dropped out of the Taal Unie which even the Surinamers are still part of. The Taal Unie was set up to protect the Dutch language from too much influence of foreign languages. Vlaamse is the purest form of the language but that is more to thank from the persecution by the Walloons in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. Afrikaans is a primitive distillation of Dutch; very simple grammar and limited vocabulary

[pErvinalia]

Dutch Dutch is the best Dutch.

[Brian Peacock]

Apropos of nothing in particular: When I was in my late teens one of the highlights of my life to that date was a visit to our house by the Coventry City goalkeeper Les Sealey. Les was East-London through and through and a casual acquaintance of my dad's was 'in business' with him selling high-end jewellery at knock-down prices - a friend who coincidentally later spent 7 year at her majesty's pleasure for certain accounting irregularities. Anyway, Les swore like a sailor. He just couldn't help himself, and although he continually apologised he seemed to start, end, and punctuate his every sentence with a 'fucking' this and a 'cunting' that with 'arsehole', 'shit' and 'git' etc sprinkled hither and yon. The amazing thing to my brother and I was that my mum forgave him every time, but he was incredibly glamorous and charming.

Anyway, at some point my dad asked him about The City's chances that year and Les went off on one about the manager, Dave Sexton?, who it soon became apparent was not popular with the players and certainly not popular with Les. Oh my, the air turned royal blue that day. I'd never heard anyone talk about someone else like that before and eventually my brother and I, who by then were giggling uncontrollably, were sent out of the room while Les apologised and my mum told him not to worry about it. The two of us ran upstairs and then crept down again and listened at the door biting our knuckles. We were also staggered when we heard my dad agreeing to buy 200 quids worth of jewellery, which was a lot of money in those days. After Les and pal went off in his jag my dad warned my brother and I never to mention that The City goalie had been in our house - though we both told everyone at school the very next day. It was the first time, and probably the last, I came close to having kudos among my peers. We never saw the jewellery, but later that month we got a fridge-freezer and I distinctly remember my mum patting it and saying "Thank-you Les," which I thought was a bit odd even at the time.

My dad was involved with a local charity through work, and a while later he tapped Les for a signed football for the annual raffle. Les did them proud and sent along half-a-dozen footballs signed by the team, some team shirts and other merch, and low-and-behold a fridge-freezer, which became the main prize. What a gent. As the treasurer of the charity my dad was responsible for running the raffle and was completely unabashed when he somehow won the main prize - quickly sold for cash. The charity did very well and my dad got an enthusiastic round of applause at the Christmas fund raiser that year.

I'm no football fan but I followed Les' career with interest right up to when he died of a massive heart attack at the age of only 43 while on the coaching staff at West Ham.

[Scot Dutchy]

A great little story Brian.

[Scot Dutchy]

These are real Toys for Bois:

'Inexhaustible lasers': Boris Johnson's plan for defence after budget boost – video

The prime minister has announced that the Ministry of Defence will get an extra £24.1bn over the next four years, which is £16.5bn more than the Conservatives promised in their manifesto. The increase would take defence spending to 2.2% of GDP, above the Nato target of 2%, Johnson said in a remote address to the House of Commons from self-isolation in Downing Street

Still no free school meals for the British malnourished. Very third worldly. You can see where the UK is heading.

[rainbow]

Dutch Dutch is the best Dutch.

...except for the Belgian Dutch which is even better. You can talk and clear your throat at he same time.