Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post Reply
User avatar
Brian Peacock
Tipping cows since 1946
Posts: 37953
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:44 am
About me: Ablate me:
Location: Location: Location:
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:25 pm

War! It was here at last. "Thank the Lord," thought Jeremiah, as he eagerly oiled is musket for the second time that day - with 'musket' being the secret name by which he referred to his penis.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

User avatar
pErvinalia
On the good stuff
Posts: 59295
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:08 pm
About me: Spelling 'were' 'where'
Location: dystopia
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:03 am

He was looking forward to the march up the Kyber Passage..
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"I am seriously thinking of going on a spree killing" - Svartalf.

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 73015
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by JimC » Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:11 am

"They don't like it up 'em!"
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Brian Peacock
Tipping cows since 1946
Posts: 37953
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:44 am
About me: Ablate me:
Location: Location: Location:
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Thu Jan 09, 2020 5:41 pm

"!Dnurgh!" excitedly intoned Gkgarkl, the caste pilot of the Fnurgin destroyer, as he stealthed through the asteroid field around Qlonkidi's second moon on his mission to deploy the blurge device toward the homebase of his cardre's Kliqlonki foe. "!At this rate I'll still be home in time for third-born-second-pod-sibling Glgarmuph's ascenssion!" he chimed gleefully into the mucus comm-stack, little realising that today of all days his proboscis was pointing in completely the wrong direction entirely.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 73015
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by JimC » Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:37 pm

:lol:
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 17879
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
About me: recovering humanist
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Jan 10, 2020 9:26 pm

I was late, and all that remained for me at this year's vegan orgy were the smells; ass sweat, patchouli, and weed.

User avatar
Brian Peacock
Tipping cows since 1946
Posts: 37953
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:44 am
About me: Ablate me:
Location: Location: Location:
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Sat Jan 11, 2020 6:05 am

He had just started his nineteenth length of the pool when the anvil cleared the balcony, it's path describing an arc on its inevitable journey to the bottom of the shallow end that perfectly intersected the point where his head and shoulders met. Physics can be a real bitch like that sometimes.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47197
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Tero » Mon Jan 13, 2020 4:22 pm

Why did she have to be so pancreatic about it? We were getting along fine till then.
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 17879
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
About me: recovering humanist
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:36 am

Less a man at war with himself, than with the whole of the damned planet Earth c-90dx.

--//--//

That's my best bit of fuckery yet. :biggrin:

User avatar
Brian Peacock
Tipping cows since 1946
Posts: 37953
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:44 am
About me: Ablate me:
Location: Location: Location:
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Thu Aug 20, 2020 5:34 am

:)

* * *

If only Marjorie has worn socks that day everything would have turned out different. But she didn't, and it didn't.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

User avatar
rainbow
Posts: 13528
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:10 am
About me: Egal wie dicht du bist, Goethe war Dichter
Location: Africa
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Thu Aug 20, 2020 6:32 am

Through the mists of Dragon Mountain foothills, Abercrombie could see at last the Teahouse of the Divine Calmness.
"I demand to see the manager!", Karen insisted.
I call bullshit - Alfred E Einstein
BArF−4

User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 17879
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
About me: recovering humanist
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Thu Aug 20, 2020 6:51 am

:lol: --that's the spirit Peacock.

I'm afraid you're still putting out gold rainbow. It's bad, but it's outstanding parody with far too much potential.

...Abercrombie at the Teahouse of the Divine Calmness...

--come on man! That's too good.

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 20981
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: Tannhauser Gate
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by laklak » Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:10 pm

"Once bitten, twice shy!" snarled Wolf Steele as he snapped the tiger shark's neck with his massive forearm.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

User avatar
rainbow
Posts: 13528
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:10 am
About me: Egal wie dicht du bist, Goethe war Dichter
Location: Africa
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Sat Aug 22, 2020 1:26 pm

"Aaaaargh!"
"Aye, aye."
"Aaaaaargh!"
"Aye"
...otherwise is was an uneventful night in the Tavern of the Rusty Smuggler.
I call bullshit - Alfred E Einstein
BArF−4

User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 17879
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
About me: recovering humanist
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Thu Oct 08, 2020 2:09 am

Well, well, well, if it isn't Rainbow leaving town on the Missionary Express. Those poor fools haven't got a clue.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests