Mutant man eating catfish?

User avatar
Calilasseia
Butterfly
Butterfly
Posts: 5272
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:31 pm
About me: Destroyer of canards, and merciless shredder of bad ideas. :twisted:
Location: 40,000 feet above you, dropping JDAMs
Contact:

Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Calilasseia » Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:24 am

Reports have been steadily trickling in from the region of the Great Kali River, that forms part of the border between India and Nepal, of a mutant catfish that has reputedly developed a taste for live humans. At first, my thought upon hearing this was "oh, sure", given that I happen to know a thing or two about catfish. For example, the largest catfish I know of that is native to India is the Helicopter Catfish, Wallago attu, a 7 foot beast that has a cavernous mouth, and is easily capable of amputating an arm. However, this fish lives in tropical waters, not the chilly waters of the Great Kali, which runs through the Himalayas and is fed by meltwaters from the snows, resulting in much cooler water temperatures than the Helicopter Catfish can withstand. Plus, whilst Helicopter Catfish are known to be snappy and dangerous when large, and are treated with respect by fishermen (though also regarded as an excellent food fish - a big one can feed a large family for a week or so), they are not reputed to be maneaters.

However, some film footage has changed all that.

The fish in question rejoices in the wonderful name of the Goonch - scientific name Bagarius yarreli - and previously, this fish was regarded as being a fairly chunky catfish, but nothing out of the ordinary. The three other species in the Genus - Bagarius rutilus, Bagarius suchus and Bagarius bagarius, usually top out at about a metre in length, and the consensus in the past was that Bagarius yarreli likewise never exceeded a metre in length.

However, when people started disappearing along the Great Kali river, and people started reporting seeing monster catfish, media attention soon turned to the area. As is usual with such stories, it was tempting to dismiss them as hyperbole, until biologists began investigating the story.

Apparently, the short stretch of the Great Kali river, where the attacks have been concentrated, has been used as a place to dispose of the remains of traditional funeral pyres, and it appears that some of the catfish have developed a taste for human flesh as a consequence of feeding on the corpses from the funeral pyres. However, since the only candidate fish that fitted the bill was Bagarius yarrelli, and no specimen bigger than about 90 cm had been found previously, the question remained: were there really monster catfish in the river?

Biologist Jeremy Wade, who is also a keen angler, set out to answer the question. As this video clip shows, someone took a photograph of an extraordinarily large specimen, reputed to have been 7ft 4ins long:



First, he caught some regular sized specimens of the species, as shown in this video clip:



The backward pointing teeth that this species possesses ensure that it is an efficient predator on other fishes, and also enable it to bring down prey such as ducks and geese, which it drags below the surface and drown s before devouring.

Having used the data from the regular sized specimens, to determine the size that an individual of this species would need to be in order to be a potential maneater, he caught this:



Which exceeded the record for the species by a large margin. A still photo of Jeremy Wade, with helpers holding the 161 lb catfish, can be seen here, here and here.

So, it looks like the "mutant catfish" really do exist. The specimen caught by Jeremy Wade far exceeds all previous known specimens of this fish both in length and body weight, and it is possible that even larger specimens are lurking in the waters of the Great Kali river. The modus operandi described for the reported attacks, fits with the feeding pattern of this fish upon such prey as waterbirds - attack from below, drag beneath the water, then feed at leisure.

So, if any of you are planning trekking holidays in southern Nepal, don't go skinny dipping in the Great Kali river. Not unless you fancy ending up as a catfish's lunch. :)

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 74163
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by JimC » Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:31 am

The best way to test this would be placing recently dead humans in that stretch of water (anchored in some way), with underwater cameras at the ready... :eddy:

There are religions that leave the dead on towers to be eaten by vultures - this would be no different, in principle...

Then again, I suppose it does not test whether the fish in question could subdue a live, struggling human...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Xamonas Chegwé
Bouncer
Bouncer
Posts: 50939
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
Location: Nottingham UK
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:34 am

That's great Cali! Sorry, I meant Great Kali. Or did I? :what:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing :nono:
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur

User avatar
Feck
.
.
Posts: 28391
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:25 pm
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Feck » Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:35 am

Yep it's true we talked about monster fresh water fish in another thread a while ago .....Fishing for goonch is hard work because ( unusually for cat fish) the river is quite fast flowing .. there is no way you are stopping a 7" fish in a current

http://www.rationalia.com/forum/viewtop ... an#p327880
:hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog:
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread

User avatar
Xamonas Chegwé
Bouncer
Bouncer
Posts: 50939
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
Location: Nottingham UK
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:40 am

Feck wrote:Yep it's true we talked about monster fresh water fish in another thread a while ago .....Fishing for goonch is hard work because ( unusually for cat fish) the river is quite fast flowing .. there is no way you are stopping a 7" fish in a current

http://www.rationalia.com/forum/viewtop ... an#p327880
That's quite a current if you can't land a 7 inch fish!!!


:whisper: 7' would be a different matter... :whistle:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing :nono:
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur

User avatar
Feck
.
.
Posts: 28391
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:25 pm
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Feck » Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:48 am

Xamonas Chegwé wrote:
Feck wrote:Yep it's true we talked about monster fresh water fish in another thread a while ago .....Fishing for goonch is hard work because ( unusually for cat fish) the river is quite fast flowing .. there is no way you are stopping a 7" fish in a current

http://www.rationalia.com/forum/viewtop ... an#p327880
That's quite a current if you can't land a 7 inch fish!!!


:whisper: 7' would be a different matter... :whistle:

Mea culpa .... very funny :roll:
:hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog:
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread

User avatar
Xamonas Chegwé
Bouncer
Bouncer
Posts: 50939
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
Location: Nottingham UK
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:54 am

Feck wrote:
Xamonas Chegwé wrote:
Feck wrote:Yep it's true we talked about monster fresh water fish in another thread a while ago .....Fishing for goonch is hard work because ( unusually for cat fish) the river is quite fast flowing .. there is no way you are stopping a 7" fish in a current

http://www.rationalia.com/forum/viewtop ... an#p327880
That's quite a current if you can't land a 7 inch fish!!!


:whisper: 7' would be a different matter... :whistle:

Mea culpa .... very funny :roll:
Pedants'R'Us :biggrin:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing :nono:
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur

User avatar
Feck
.
.
Posts: 28391
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:25 pm
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Feck » Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:58 am

Xamonas Chegwé wrote:
Feck wrote:
Xamonas Chegwé wrote:
Feck wrote:Yep it's true we talked about monster fresh water fish in another thread a while ago .....Fishing for goonch is hard work because ( unusually for cat fish) the river is quite fast flowing .. there is no way you are stopping a 7" fish in a current

http://www.rationalia.com/forum/viewtop ... an#p327880
That's quite a current if you can't land a 7 inch fish!!!


:whisper: 7' would be a different matter... :whistle:

Mea culpa .... very funny :roll:
Pedants'R'Us :biggrin:

I love you really man .. Do you Want to come fishing with me ? We are going after Goonch :demon:
:hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog:
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread

User avatar
Xamonas Chegwé
Bouncer
Bouncer
Posts: 50939
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
Location: Nottingham UK
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Sun Feb 14, 2010 5:07 am

I've eaten catfish too. Does that make me a mutant? :dono:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing :nono:
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur

User avatar
Feck
.
.
Posts: 28391
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:25 pm
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Feck » Sun Feb 14, 2010 5:27 am

Xamonas Chegwé wrote:I've eaten catfish too. Does that make me a mutant? :dono:
No it's the frame shift errors on your DNA that makes you a mutant .....
:hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog:
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread

User avatar
charlou
arseist
Posts: 32530
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:36 am

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by charlou » Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:04 am

:rimshot:
no fences

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 74163
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by JimC » Sun Feb 14, 2010 7:44 am

I still want to see the pictures of the mutant man, as he eats the catfish! :lay:
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Faithfree
The Potable Atheist
Posts: 16173
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:58 am
About me: All things in moderation, including moderation
Location: Planet of the grapes
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Faithfree » Sun Feb 14, 2010 8:59 am

JimC wrote:I still want to see the pictures of the mutant man, as he eats the catfish! :lay:
That's the way I read it too. :hehe:
Although it may look like a forum, this site is actually a crowd-sourced science project modelling the slow but inexorable heat death of the universe.

User avatar
Feck
.
.
Posts: 28391
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:25 pm
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by Feck » Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:41 pm

River Monsters is on TV now ... big fish !
:hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog:
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread

User avatar
rachelbean
"awesome."
Posts: 15757
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 12:08 am
About me: I'm a nerd.
Location: Wales, aka not England
Contact:

Re: Mutant man eating catfish?

Post by rachelbean » Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:45 pm

Faithfree wrote:
JimC wrote:I still want to see the pictures of the mutant man, as he eats the catfish! :lay:
That's the way I read it too. :hehe:
Me too. I'm very disappointed :nono:
lordpasternack wrote:Yeah - I fuckin' love oppressin' ma wimmin, like I love chowin' on ma bacon and tuggin' on ma ol' cock… ;)
Pappa wrote:God is a cunt! I wank over pictures of Jesus! I love Darwin so much I'd have sex with his bones!!!!
Image

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests