Oh, stop moaning, woman!

[Geoff]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/14332648

Female moaning spurs fights between male moose...

Fucking elk.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Fucking elk.

That's new territory for you, isn't it?

[Geoff]

Fucking elk.

That's new territory for you, isn't it?

My "to-do" list keeps getting longer...

[mistermack]

If I was an Elk, I would go gay.
You have to fight for hours, and run around constantly, guarding your harem.
And how long does mating last? A few seconds at most.

It can't be worth it.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

If I was an Elk, I would go gay.
You have to fight for hours, and run around constantly, guarding your harem.
And how long does mating last? A few seconds at most.

It can't be worth it.

Actually, the elk can fuck himself to death with his harem. He mates 4-6 times an hour for several days.

[hadespussercats]

Protest moans!

"MOAN! That little twerp is at it again. MOAN! I wish he'd leave me alone..."
"Hey there, little lady. Is this guy bothering you?"
"MOAN! Yes!"

[Geoff]

If I was an Elk, I would go gay.
You have to fight for hours, and run around constantly, guarding your harem.
And how long does mating last? A few seconds at most.

It can't be worth it.

Actually, the elk can fuck himself to death with his harem. He mates 4-6 times an hour for several days.

Don't we all?

[hadespussercats]

If I was an Elk, I would go gay.
You have to fight for hours, and run around constantly, guarding your harem.
And how long does mating last? A few seconds at most.

It can't be worth it.

Actually, the elk can fuck himself to death with his harem. He mates 4-6 times an hour for several days.

Don't we all?

Nice way to go.

[mistermack]

Actually, the elk can fuck himself to death with his harem. He mates 4-6 times an hour for several days.

That adds up to about 15 seconds of shagging per hour then.
Even I could manage that. Maybe not with Elk though.

[JimC]

The male Antechinus flavipes, a tiny marsupial insectivore, never lives beyond a year. In the spring after it is born, it goes into a frenzy of mating, and dies, its pitiful little body shrunken and riddled with wounds from fighting and fucking...

The females sometimes make it through 2 years...

I have found their little bodies in the bush...

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Actually, the elk can fuck himself to death with his harem. He mates 4-6 times an hour for several days.

That adds up to about 15 seconds of shagging per hour then.
Even I could manage that. Maybe not with Elk though.

How do we get the 15 seconds, please. I no haz maffs.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

The male Antechinus flavipes, a tiny marsupial insectivore, never lives beyond a year. In the spring after it is born, it goes into a frenzy of mating, and dies, its pitiful little body shrunken and riddled with wounds from fighting and fucking...

The females sometimes make it through 2 years...

I have found their little bodies in the bush...

There's one species of blenthic fish where the male permanently attaches itself to the much larger female and does nothing but supply sperm for the rest of its life.

I think they're descended from humans.

[mistermack]

Actually, the elk can fuck himself to death with his harem. He mates 4-6 times an hour for several days.

That adds up to about 15 seconds of shagging per hour then.
Even I could manage that. Maybe not with Elk though.

How do we get the 15 seconds, please. I no haz maffs.

It only takes them a couple of seconds, and it's all over

[mistermack]

The male Antechinus flavipes, a tiny marsupial insectivore, never lives beyond a year. In the spring after it is born, it goes into a frenzy of mating, and dies, its pitiful little body shrunken and riddled with wounds from fighting and fucking...

The females sometimes make it through 2 years...

I have found their little bodies in the bush...

There's one species of blenthic fish where the male permanently attaches itself to the much larger female and does nothing but supply sperm for the rest of its life.

I think they're descended from humans.

Yeh,
I think the Angler fish does the same

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Actually, the elk can fuck himself to death with his harem. He mates 4-6 times an hour for several days.

That adds up to about 15 seconds of shagging per hour then.
Even I could manage that. Maybe not with Elk though.

How do we get the 15 seconds, please. I no haz maffs.

It only takes them a couple of seconds, and it's all over

No wonder the relationship only lasts a week or two.