The Rule # Fucking 3 Thread!

[hackenslash]

So, want to vent your fucking spleen? All getting a bit too fucking much for you? Do it here! Any post without lots of fucking expletives will receive a Dunsapy award for outstanding fucknuttery and missing the fucking point by light years.

No ad hominem please, only pure unadulterated fucking swearing.

I'll begin:

Twatshitfuckcuntbollocksarseholefuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

Oh, and Goldenmane's a fucking cunt.

[HughMcB]

CuntingFuckNads!

[virphen]

I'm going to do my best to resist the urge to descend to the level of those who lack the vocabulary to carry out a proper discourse without resorting to profanity.




Now that those of you who know me have stopped laughing at me, fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

[paceetrate]

What if we're too busy laughing our fucking asses off?

Cunt is a verb now?

[PairOfFeet]

What if we're too busy laughing our fucking asses off?

Cunt is a verb now?

Fucking learn something new every fucking day?

Verb: cunt - To go cunting

What the fuck would that mean?

[Damien Karras]

Pigshitting fuckballs. Arsefuckery and cuntwanking shitfarts. Pissbags, fuckholes, mingebandits, fuckstained toiletseating bastards, cockbiting flangemonkeys and wank-covered, beef-curtain-flavoured penis-knockers.
Cockmunching spermfarts, radical anal surgery and massive penile trauma.

[PairOfFeet]

Pigshitting fuckballs. Arsefuckery and cuntwanking shitfarts. Pissbags, fuckholes, mingebandits, fuckstained toiletseating bastards, cockbiting flangemonkeys and wank-covered, beef-curtain-flavoured penis-knockers.
Cockmunching spermfarts, radical anal surgery and massive penile trauma.

Sounds like this is the best thread for a vocabulary lesson.

[hackenslash]

Pigshitting fuckballs. Arsefuckery and cuntwanking shitfarts. Pissbags, fuckholes, mingebandits, fuckstained toiletseating bastards, cockbiting flangemonkeys and wank-covered, beef-curtain-flavoured penis-knockers.
Cockmunching spermfarts, radical anal surgery and massive penile trauma.

Sounds like this is the best thread for a vocabulary lesson.

First Dunsapy for PairOfFeet, for failing to include expletives.

[PairOfFeet]

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ass shit damn fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ass shit damn fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ass shit damn fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ass shit damn fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ass shit damn fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck cunt fuck fuck ass shit damn fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Hopefully this will make up for the lack of particular words in my last post.

[Crocodile Gandhi]

Front-bottom.

[Goldenmane]

So, want to vent your fucking spleen? All getting a bit too fucking much for you? Do it here! Any post without lots of fucking expletives will receive a Dunsapy award for outstanding fucknuttery and missing the fucking point by light years.

No ad hominem please, only pure unadulterated fucking swearing.

I'll begin:

Twatshitfuckcuntbollocksarseholefuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

Oh, and Goldenmane's a fucking cunt.

I suppose I'm somewhat obligated to respond.

I've been wondering a little about the possibility that Rule #3 may have added somewhat to Dick's Distaste, and the rather precipitous ramifications of it. Indeed, Dick's Distaste may in fact be a demonstration and vindication of Goldenmane's Third Rule of Public Discourse.

Dick, of course, is very much the English Gentleman. Which means, amongst other things, that he's fucking hidebound by notions of propriety. Sure, you can swear a little to make a point, providing all you're doing is quoting some other motherfucker who's obviously nowhere as refined as yourself: we have witnessed this in the two incidents of Dick swearing that come to mind, to whit him reading hate emails sent to him, and the famous quoting of a previous editor of New Scientist. At no point do I ever remember seeing any indication that Dick has the capacity to indulge in invective off his own bat. I daresay he'd probably be totally shit at it. He's pretty shit at a number of things, as I've pointed out once or twice before, one of these things being live debate. I'd much rather watch Hitch tear some moronic pile of foetid godbothering ass-fistery to shreds than watch Dick flounder about in the face of polished bullshit being flung at him. Dick is, after all, a fucking nerd. A fairly brave nerd in some respects, but still a fucking nerd for all that. That's fine, the world needs nerds.

Hell, I'm a fucking nerd in many respects. I'm probably better than Dick when it comes to live debate, but I'm still not all that great at it (although that's a failing I'm working on). I'm also physically largely the antithesis of the classic nerd, as anyone who's seen me in the flesh will attest. I did spend a decade and more training in martial arts and such, after all. It's just that I approached it from a nerdy perspective: I wanted to actually know my subject, and the best way to know the subject of violence (which is what the martial arts are ultimately about, after all) is to volunteer to have the shit kicked out of you by people who are really good at it, and attempt to return the favour. But I cunting-well digress, as I'm wont to do.

Hang on, need more beer.

Right, libation refreshed. Where was I?

Oh, yeah. I really think that Dick is uncomfortable with swearing. I always got the impression when watching him do it that he got a sort of schoolboy frisson from it, like he was being naughty and getting away with it, a kind of attempt to be cool or some shit. I don't swear because it's cool. I swear for many reasons, all of which are highlighted (or intended to be) by the formulation and practice of Rule #3. I'll include the explanation of Rule #3 at the end of this post, if I can find it.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Dick, if he were at all aware of the Book of RDF project, would have been fucking horrified, largely because of the inclusion of Rule #3. I also think he wouldn't have said anything about it, because there's nothing you can say about it or against it and not betray a fundamental lack of intellectual rigour. He knows that arguments against swearing are based in the shit-stained ignorance of magical thinking and that Rule #3 is simply a recognition of this, a celebration of it, and a pointed highlighting of it. There is nothing magical about the word cunt. Although certain types of cunts do have their (not so) mysteriously attractive qualities. I just think that Dick may well have been so properly raised as to have had a visceral recoiling from coarse language inculcated in him. I was always rather skeptical about whether he would ever allow the Book to go ahead so closely linked to his name. I was hoping he would, so I said nothing (I keep my own counsel on such things, as people may have guessed) but I have to admit I wasn't surprised that some form of fuckwittery intervened.

Not that I'm saying that I (and so many other wielders of Rule #3) killed the forum, of course. That would be arrogating an imperial fucktonne (somewhat larger than a metric fucktonne) of influence to myself and my compatriots in the fight against unreason in this issue more than I/we deserve. It almost certainly wasn't a factor that would have fallen on Dick's "Keep the forum going" side of the ledger.

Anyway, as a self-styled Master of the Art of Creative Invective, here's the original draft of the explanation of Rule #3:

Goldenmane’s Third Rule of Public Discourse

One of the views shared by many who have posted on the RD.net forums over the years was formulated by the user Calilasseia thusly: ‘Bad ideas exist to be destroyed.’ Indeed, this is the central thread that links this collection of writings, disparate as they may otherwise be.

Many of the essays included in this collection also share another similarity: the use of what may be considered, by some, profanity. Also know as swearing, cursing, and foul or bad language.

The often liberal use of expletives in some of these tracts may appear gratuitous and immature, even offensive. The reader is advised to bear in mind the aforementioned notion: bad ideas exist to be destroyed, in this case formulated as what has become known as Goldenmane’s Third Rule of Public Discourse, commonly referred to as Rule #3: swear a lot.

Rule #3 was formulated initially as a joke, the point being that it serves as a way of distinguishing between those conversational opponents who were capable of addressing an argument intellectually, rationally, and logically, and those who were governed entirely by emotion. The key here is to realise that those governed by emotion would be those who would be offended (and loudly) by the use of words like fuck, cunt, shit, piss, arsehole, and sundry others. Such people would tend to leave a debate or conversation in high dudgeon, complaining loudly about the language their interlocutors were using. So much the better. There is little worth in continuing a discussion with someone who bases their entire position on emotion, and it’s all to the good if they can be induced to chuck the shits and storm out, since it starkly highlights the intellectual vacuity of their entire approach.

What started as a jest (as all good jests do) rapidly developed more profound ramifications. For example: the words used to refer to swearing (including, tellingly, “swearing”) reveal an unholy (or perhaps overly holy) reliance upon certain magical notions. ‘Cursing’, ‘swearing’, ‘using God’s name in vain’ and the like all rest upon the rather quaint and somewhat silly notion that words have magical power. Whilst words do have power (the power to communicate ideas being primary), there’s no evidence whatsofuckingever to suggest that incantations can make shit magically happen.

The idea that certain combinations of sounds (always culturally determined) can have inherent magically ‘bad’ properties is, to be blunt, bullshit. Most such words from around the world’s different cultures are related to one of two things: fucking and shitting. Why these two essential processes for a complex sexually-reliant species that needs to eat should become the ‘bad’ words I’m not going to debate here. Suffice it to say that from a rational modern perspective, it’s a little bizarre. But I’ll work with it. It’s my fucking medium, after all.

Bad ideas exist to be destroyed. The notion that words can inherently be bad is a bad idea. It springs from primitive beliefs about words being magical. Similarly, the intellectual coward’s retreat from debate under the banner of ‘my opponent swears’ is rooted in the same notion. It also provides them with an easy escape route, and in this sense it is offered up as a service: allowing them to exit with the personal sense that they have retained the moral high ground, even if they have been unable to support their own arguments.

What renders the whole notion of ‘bad language’ truly ludicrous is that words are just effectively arbitrary collections of sounds (or letters, if written down). Start with ‘c’. Add a ‘t’: ‘ct’. Add a ‘u’: ‘cut’ Wow, we now have a word that we recognise. There’s nothing bad about the word, just as there’s nothing bad about the letters it is made from. Now add an ‘n’: cnut.

That should, properly, be rendered Cnut, it being a proper noun. Chap is famous for arguing with the sea, or something. The sea, of course, ignored him, because words aren’t actually magical. Changing Cnut around a little makes him a cunt. Where’s the fucking magic?

In writing this, I have been reminded to add a little explanation of Rules 1 and 2. An explanation was posted some time ago. Here it is, and I hope the reader gains some understanding:

Sweet juicy Mohammed on Satan's glistening prong, you want comedy and explanations on demand?

I can give you the explanation, but I can't guarantee the comedy. I've got stage fright, and as everyone knows stage fright causes the balls to shrink and try to hide in the body, and as everyone also knows the balls are where the comedy glands reside, which is why (as Hitchens so rightly pointed out) women aren't funny. Unless they have balls. Evidence of this, in case anyone was wondering, is there to be seen. Just look at the scrotum. Take a long, hard (or flaccid, depending on your proclivities) look, and tell me that the scrotum isn't fucking funny. You'll be lying if you say it isn't. The scrotum is like the world's most honest packaging. It says, "Here be comedy. There is literally and categorically nothing as funny as this.

It's an evolutionary thing. Dick Dawkins even touched on it (well, there's really no other way to put it, is there? No quote mines, please, I won't have it said that Dick touches his, or any other, scrotum any more than strictly necessary) in The Greatest Show on Earth, where he points to the completely ridiculous path the vas deferens takes. It's fucking bizarre and surreal. Any designer who came up with that and was still responsible for the entirety of everything is a joker on a colossal scale. It's the only possible answer that isn't pants-shittingly terrifying. And as it is, it's minor-incident-of-bowel-incontinence scary. You wonder why God is referred to as He? It can only be because the fucker's a sadistic practical joker, with testicles the size of... well, how do you measure such balls?

The other option is that He doesn't exist, of course, but some well-known people have, historically, bet against that.

Anyway, enough (as the sage said) of that guff: Rule #3. The strict name of said rule is Goldenmane's 3rd Rule of Public Discourse, and stackhishash has quoted the short form verbatim: Swear a lot. The reasons are, I hope, obvious, and need no further explanation. Rules #1 and #2 are both the same as, and yet separate from, Rule #3. Simply put, Rule #1 dictates the rules (whilst being identical to Rule #3) and Rule #2 fucks about in the background somehow making globules of retarded effluent seem to mean something that gives Rule #3 its efficacy.

To put it another way, Rules 1,2 and 3 are the same goddamn rule, but invoking Rule #3 is all that is needed to have a cock-suckingly good life, and if you fucking well understand Rule #3, you'll stop asking for explanations. Fuck.

Oh, and while I'm about it: hackenslash is a right cunt of a thing, and if I never get to have a beer with the fucker, I'll be so shit-flingingly pissed off that I'll personally invent a way to haunt this fucking world and drink all his goddamned beer from beyond the motherfucking grave.

[hackenslash]

Ah, there you are, you cunt. We really will have to find some way to share that beer at some point.

[Goldenmane]

Ah, there you are, you cunt. We really will have to find some way to share that beer at some point.

I appreciate the fact that you and so many others have been putting in hard fucking yards regarding recent developments, and that I may have been conspicuously absent for much of it, or at least haven't posted much. The fact is, I don't really have much to say, or at least I don't like to simply reiterate things which have already been said.

Suffice to say that everything you've posted here and elsewhere that I've not chimed in on can be read as having my wholehearted approval. It probably means fuck-all to most people, or even all people, but I just wanted to go on the record somewhere as saying that I've been monitoring, and thus far I agree with every motherfucking thing you've said, so until any situation arises where you start spouting shit I disagree with (which, if it happens, I will fucking make abundantly clear), anyone reading your words can pretty much assume I'm of the same mind, and save themselves a little effort in reading.

Reading back over that, it comes off as fucking condescending or some shit. It's not meant that way (this bit is for the readers who don't know that we're as like as two cunts in a pod in many respects). I'm not giving myself airs or anything, nor considering hack a mouthpiece or any of that shit. I'm just pointing out that there's little point to me posting on the issue in all the various places when hack's saying pretty much exactly what I want to say every time, so people can just assume that I agree with the cunt until I speak to the contrary.

Besides, the cunt types quicker than me.

[Damien Karras]

Cockflaps.

[Alan C]

Fucking fuckheads where I live couldn't drive or fucking park properly to save their arsecheeks, INDICATORS MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU HAVE THEM?!
And I hate driving behind fucktarded braindead scrotum-lickers that insist on driving along 20 arsing km under the bastard bloody speed limits.
And SUVs?! Fuck me, fucking Remuera taxis, fuckers never use them for their intended purpose, only for driving little johny to fucking school and getting in my fucking way because I can't see past the bastard things at intersections. What a fucking waste of road-space when 90% of the wankers don't use them for some valid work-related purpose [and no, advertising is not a valid bloody purpose].
I fucking hate tobacco too.

and my shoulder is still slightly fucked.


FUCKBEANS!