The internet and social life

[devogue]

It makes it sound as if you see this place (or any other like it) as a private vaudeville show, in which you sometimes like to take the spotlight when it strikes you to put on your costume and greasepaint.

It's only private in that people I know in real life don't know about here. As I've said before, my enjoyment of this forum is dependent on everyone else's enjoyment - it's all about give and take. I make no apology whatsoever for what I take from this community because I happen to think that I've put at least as much in as I've taken out over the years.

Your slightly sneering and aggressive post insinuates that there is something grubby, sinister, negative, perhaps Machiavellian about my presence here, that I see this forum as some kind of doll that I like to stick pins in every now and again, whereas your presence is entirely selfless, giving, positive and happy. Hmmm.

Tigger asks me to "join you", as if meeting in real life lifts those who do so to a higher consciousness or something, as if it's the natural thing, the right thing to do. Well it's not - it's another thing to do, but it's not the be all and end all.

[charlou]

I actually understand where Dev's coming from with the separation of forum persona and 'real life' person, and I think he's just making honest observations about forum use, from his pov.

There was a time quite a few years ago when I wouldn't have wanted to meet anyone I interacted with online, prefering to keep the two separate, to maintain a certain aloofness, not wanting to get too emotionally involved because that's how I am .. or was ... Then an exception eventuated, the development of a friendship and love with my now partner.

Later, my association with this community started at RDF, but it wasn't until we moved on to TAF that I started to really feel a part of it, made a very good friend in Pappa , and my sentimental involvement with this community of people has grown since. I would really enjoy meeting just about anyone here ... and I have an aching desire to ... well ... some things are best kept private.


SB, you were Dev when I met you in Adelaide .. and Dev, you're SB when I see you here online. For me there's no distinction .. Dev is SB is Dev.

Maybe it's easy for me to appreciate that because I myself rely on the internet format to communicate with people far better than I can manage in real life, and that's because it's in text, and there's time to think. IRL I'm not great at communicating off the cuff and can be pretty fucking inarticulate really .. while here my personality and intellect is given free rein without any of the pressure. My views and basic nature are the same, just the way I manage to express myself is different ...

[Beelzebub2]

Anyone who has ever been made happy, sad, angry, outraged, titillated, etc, by something they read in a forum is acknowledging the reality of the people with whom they're interacting and the degree of significance they allot to them.

Ain't that the truth!

Were it not for the webz and the internet my world would be approximately 50 km wide.

[charlou]

Were it not for the webz and the internet my world would be approximately 50 km wide.

Thank fuck for the webz

[Bella Fortuna]

Were it not for the webz and the internet my world would be approximately 50 km wide.

Thank fuck for the webz

Yep. My life now feels as wide as the world.

[Beelzebub2]

Were it not for the webz and the internet my world would be approximately 50 km wide.

Thank fuck for the webz

Thank fuck indeed!

[devogue]

Sorry to Bella for being a bit shitty in my last post.

It did annoy me a bit, though.

[devogue]

SB, you were Dev when I met you in Adelaide .. and Dev, you're SB when I see you here online. For me there's no distinction .. Dev is SB is Dev.

Well, maybe when I was pissed.

IRL I'm not great at communicating off the cuff and can be pretty fucking inarticulate really ..

Bollocks. You were as funny as hell.

[Rum]

I have not met Dev so I have so far hesitated to say this in this thread, but I imagine SB and Dev and indeed very similar in reality.

I met my Missus on-line and what's more we spent a couple of months talking nightly 'in game' mostly (Ultima Online) before meeting up. We were both the people we thought we were. Don't get realler than that!

[The Curious Squid]

Charlou, you got it spot on

I can understand Dev's point of view here, there is something good about keeping this place separate from real life. I come here for the unique interactions and conversations that I can have with you lot that I simply don't get in my everyday life. I come here to rant when I'm angry, get support when I'm down, laugh when I'm bored and just get to know people better. I can do all of that because this community is detached from the jobs, ex-girlfriends and money troubles of my life and as much as I love this place, I hope it never crosses with my everyday routine because then it wouldn't be the sanctuary from life that it is.

That said, meeting people in real life doesn't blur the boundaries like you expect Dev, It makes this place all the more appealing while still keeping it separate from life and in my experience the openess in both feelings and unorthodox topics of conversation carry over when you meet these people, it's not a persona constructed for interacting online.

[Bella Fortuna]

Sorry to Bella for being a bit shitty in my last post.

It did annoy me a bit, though.

It's OK. But thanks.

I see a distinction here, between not wanting to meet in real life for whatever reason (fine, no worry ), and not seeing other people online (here in particular) as fully three-dimensional and engaging with them manipulatively for one's amusement. I'm not saying you always do that, and I'm not saying you're the only one who seems to have that attitude at times, but some people do interact this way and I find it alarming. I take huge issue (big surprise!) with the attitude of internet relations being just a stage for one's own play-acting of a character at the expense of other people's feelings, that it doesn't matter as much somehow even though there are real people behind the typed words. I am very bothered by lack of empathy or conscience about how one affects others in a community such as this, which has prided itself on its close-knit and caring nature. That's what led me to start that other thread, wondering how others felt about such things.

I mean these thoughts generally, Dev, not aimed at you.

[charlou]

SB, you were Dev when I met you in Adelaide .. and Dev, you're SB when I see you here online. For me there's no distinction .. Dev is SB is Dev.

Well, maybe when I was pissed.

IRL I'm not great at communicating off the cuff and can be pretty fucking inarticulate really ..

Bollocks. You were as funny as hell.

Well, maybe when I was pissed. Not saying I was, mind ...

Oh, hell yeah, that was a great few hours ... far too few.

[The Curious Squid]

I have not met Dev so I have so far hesitated to say this in this thread, but I imagine SB and Dev and indeed very similar in reality.

I met my Missus on-line and what's more we spent a couple of months talking nightly 'in game' mostly (Ultima Online) before meeting up. We were both the people we thought we were. Don't get realler than that!

This is what I was trying to say, you'd more than likely still be Dev if we met because, just like Floppit said, you interact differently depending on your company and in our company you're a drama loving, witty, foul mouthed and caring guy who sometimes argues for the sake of arguing

[Tigger]

<snip again if that's ok >

Tigger asks me to "join you", as if meeting in real life lifts those who do so to a higher consciousness or something, as if it's the natural thing, the right thing to do. Well it's not - it's another thing to do, but it's not the be all and end all.

You misunderstood me, Dev: I meant join the community as a lot of us do here, not necessarily with a view to actually meeting "real people", but with a view to treating them as such, and experiencing what many others here have, and you too to some extent - I'm profoundly envious that you met Charlou . Meeting people is just a bonus and not some sort of pilgrimage to Mecca. Whatever, enjoy it.

[devogue]

<snip again if that's ok >

Tigger asks me to "join you", as if meeting in real life lifts those who do so to a higher consciousness or something, as if it's the natural thing, the right thing to do. Well it's not - it's another thing to do, but it's not the be all and end all.

You misunderstood me, Dev: I meant join the community as a lot of us do here, not necessarily with a view to actually meeting "real people", but with a view to treating them as such, and experiencing what many others here have, and you too to some extent - I'm profoundly envious that you met Charlou . Meeting people is just a bonus and not some sort of pilgrimage to Mecca. Whatever, enjoy it.

I do treat people here as real as this medium allows me to, which is as real as it allows you to.

But unlike you I don't wish to go beyond that. I want to keep a barrier between what I enjoy so much here, and the way I interact with people here, and real life which is a profoundly different experience.