How to beat your wife - yes really!

[Adenosine]

Well, I have a beer in front of me! What's a quadratic? Is it just algebraic formula for a square?

It's someone who can't move their arms or legs.

[Tyrannical]

Why would one solve such an equation? I might be able to visualize it better that way...

An equation of that form would accurately model the patyh taken by an artillery shell (a parabola), with the values of a, b and c dependent on the muzzle velocity and angle of firing. Solving such an equation will give you (disregarding air resiatance) the point at which the shell lands...

My maths and physics lads are used to problems which start:

"A cannon elevated at 27 degrees fires a cannonball with an initial velocity of ..."

I am a horrid militaristic role model...

Ballistics is why we have computers ! Because you can't ignore air resistance or the Coriolis effect or wind direction ... all a bit tricky maths to do in your head .

Bah, I could often first shot victory this game, and it never takes me more than three shots.

[Gallstones]

Well, I have a beer in front of me! What's a quadratic? Is it just algebraic formula for a square?

It's what people that can't do differential equations use to appear smart

It's Algebra.

And not even hard Algebra.

[Animavore]

Surely the best people to ask this are the cops? They know well how to leave no bruises.

[Feck]

Simulated drowning would be all right according to the US ?

[mistermack]

It used to be the law in England that it was illegal to beat your wife with a rod thicker than your thumb.

That is where the expression "a rule of thumb" comes from.

And there is an old rhyme in Gloucestershire :

"A dog, a woman, and a Walnut Tree,
The more you beat em, the better they be"

Apparently if you beat the trunk of a walnut tree, it made it grow more walnuts.

[Feck]

the rule of thumb is an urban myth .

[JimC]

the rule of thumb is an urban myth .

But the rule of Rum will come, when his forces sweep down from Carlisle to take charge of the decadent and effete South...

[Pappa]

the rule of thumb is an urban myth .

Interesting titbits from Wiki:

The exact origin of the phrase is uncertain: either it is derived from the use of the thumb as a measurement device ("rule"), or it is derived from use of the thumb in a number of apocryphal "rules" (law, principle, regulation, or maxim). Many claim that it comes from beer brewing before the invention of thermometers when brewers would use their thumbs to measure the temperature of batches of beer.[1] The earliest citation comes from Sir William Hope’s The Compleat Fencing-Master, second edition, 1692, page 157: "What he doth, he doth by rule of thumb, and not by art."[2][3] The phrase also exists in other languages, for example Swedish tumregel, Norwegian and Danish tommelfingerregel, sometimes in the variant "rule of fist", for example Finnish nyrkkisääntö, German Faustregel or Dutch vuistregel, as well as in Persian "قاعده سرانگشتی" which is translated as finger's top rule. This suggests that it has some antiquity, and does not originate in specifically English-language culture.

[JacksSmirkingRevenge]

A dense object with an aerodynamic shape...

...instantly brings to mind a British police constable, for some reason.

[FBM]

Then there's the make-up sex afterwards, which should include Double-fisting.

[JimC]

A dense object with an aerodynamic shape...

...instantly brings to mind a British police constable, for some reason.

Why? Have you tested one in a wind chamber?

[JacksSmirkingRevenge]

Alas, no...But should the opportunity ever arise I promise to furnish you with full details of comparative drag coefficients of headgear etc.

[Geoff]

Interesting thread...though it would have been better in NSFW

My wife prefers one of these, though of course YMMV.

[wittywoman]

Interesting thread...though it would have been better in NSFW

My wife prefers one of these, though of course YMMV.

needs illumination cast on this. the flogger, made in front of me and to my specifications, has 24, 1/2 inch thick tails, made of soft pigskin hide and very light Best used by slowly sweeping across naked body and face, with occasional snaps to increase skin awareness. My Hawk gave me 200 lashes with it, and skin hardly red, it is all in the quality, make up and handling of the tool. But then, Hawk is an expert...