Gifts for The Visitors

User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 7653
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
Contact:

Gifts for The Visitors

Post by Sean Hayden » Wed May 16, 2018 5:16 pm

When the aliens finally arrive we'll want to be ready with gifts. What would you give the aliens? I'm thinking I'd give them a watermelon. This, is a fucking watermelon. Have you got anything like this on your planet?
"The Americans from the North, at least the great part of those I have seen, eat only salted meat, bread made by themselves out of corn meal, coffee, and homemade cheese. To these the greater part...add strong liquor, for they are in general, in my opinion, lazy people of vicious character. " --José María Sánchez ~1827

User avatar
Brian Peacock
Tipping cows since 1946
Posts: 18467
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:44 am
About me: Ablate me:
Location: Location: Location:
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by Brian Peacock » Wed May 16, 2018 5:56 pm

"This is a fucking grand piano. Let's see you get your tentacles round that!"
.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 7653
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by Sean Hayden » Wed May 16, 2018 6:07 pm

:lol: -excellent choice. Perhaps Rainbow could join you and do some interpretive dancing.
"The Americans from the North, at least the great part of those I have seen, eat only salted meat, bread made by themselves out of corn meal, coffee, and homemade cheese. To these the greater part...add strong liquor, for they are in general, in my opinion, lazy people of vicious character. " --José María Sánchez ~1827

User avatar
Animavore
Nasty Hombre
Posts: 36120
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:26 am
Location: Ire Land.
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by Animavore » Wed May 16, 2018 6:10 pm

I'd walk up wrapped in a bow and say, "Take me." And get the fuck off this idiotic planet.
"Never argue with Trump supporters, they drag you down to their level then beat you with experience."
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing."

PsychoSerenity
"I" Self-Perceive Recursively
Posts: 7609
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:57 am
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by PsychoSerenity » Wed May 16, 2018 8:42 pm

Reminded me of something posted here years ago:
PsychoSerenity wrote:
Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:28 pm
I've just had a shocking thought.

Since mammals are the only type of animal that produces milk, and their evolutionary existence is almost purely coincidental, the vast majority of intelligent alien lifeforms throughout the universe will never have tried cheese.
laklak wrote:
Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:42 pm
Ftxgtrg (looking at his plate): What's this called, anyway?

Gtxtxfx: I got it on Urth, it's called cheese.

Ftxgtrg: Looks funny. What IS it?

Gtxtxfx: Well, it's fermented glandular secretions from one of several species of indigenous motile lifeforms, partially digested by bacteria. The blue stuff is mold.

Ftxgtrg: Hmmmmmm....
:biggrin: :cheese:
[Disclaimer - if this is comes across like I think I know what I'm talking about, I want to make it clear that I don't. I'm just trying to get my thoughts down]

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 57320
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by JimC » Wed May 16, 2018 9:32 pm

A set of scalpels, a book on human anatomy, and Trump's dead body to practice on... :tea:
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Brian Peacock
Tipping cows since 1946
Posts: 18467
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:44 am
About me: Ablate me:
Location: Location: Location:
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by Brian Peacock » Wed May 16, 2018 9:41 pm

Sean Hayden wrote:
Wed May 16, 2018 6:07 pm
:lol: -excellent choice. Perhaps Rainbow could join you and do some interpretive dancing.
There's nothing more soul-destroying that spending a lot of time, money and effort to travel to a distant and exotic place only to be forced to endure a round of cod 'traditional' dancing during dinner.

We can make this happen!! :cheer:
.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

User avatar
pErvinalia
Off his meds
Posts: 43762
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:08 pm
About me: Now with 50% less ranting!
Location: dystopia
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by pErvinalia » Thu May 17, 2018 2:04 am

Porn.
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"You know you blokes didn't criticize Obama. You're lying. - Forty Two. Umm - http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=42144

User avatar
pErvinalia
Off his meds
Posts: 43762
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:08 pm
About me: Now with 50% less ranting!
Location: dystopia
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by pErvinalia » Thu May 17, 2018 2:05 am

Galaxian.
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"You know you blokes didn't criticize Obama. You're lying. - Forty Two. Umm - http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=42144

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 13825
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: on the beach, drinking a beer
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by laklak » Thu May 17, 2018 3:36 am

My Johnson. Suck it, Slug Boy.

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 13825
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: on the beach, drinking a beer
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by laklak » Thu May 17, 2018 3:47 am

Ya know, I just read PS's quote of something I apparently wrote 6 years ago (how the fuck did you find that PS?). It was pretty fucking good, if I do say so myself. I don't remember posting it, but if I saw it on some forum I'd say - hey, that's pretty fucking good. What am I reduced to now, in my dotage?

"My Johnson. Suck it, Slug Boy"

That's it. That's the best I can do these days. I even sat and thought about it for a while. Kids, this is what 6 years of drugs, booze. and incipient, undiagnosed dementia will do to you. Just say NO.

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.

User avatar
pErvinalia
Off his meds
Posts: 43762
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:08 pm
About me: Now with 50% less ranting!
Location: dystopia
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by pErvinalia » Thu May 17, 2018 4:18 am

I hear ya, lak. I look back on my past writings and can barely believe I was that smart and funny. Being a loser has really taken it's toll on me.
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"You know you blokes didn't criticize Obama. You're lying. - Forty Two. Umm - http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=42144

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 13825
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: on the beach, drinking a beer
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by laklak » Thu May 17, 2018 4:28 am

Another ten years and we'll have to do this on Skype, 'cuz all we'll be able to do is grunt and drool.

It's sad, brother.

User avatar
cronus
Black Market Analyst
Posts: 16954
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:09 pm
About me: Grail salesman
Location: United Kingdom
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by cronus » Thu May 17, 2018 6:18 am

Bacteria the humblest things upon the Earth, minute and tiny bacteria. Why be original?
"without a proper ego nobody can create a personal narrative, any more than you can drive a car without an engine, or cast a shadow without a real physical object. But once you've consigned your ego to someone else, where on earth do you go from there?"
-- Haruki Murakami, Underground

User avatar
pErvinalia
Off his meds
Posts: 43762
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:08 pm
About me: Now with 50% less ranting!
Location: dystopia
Contact:

Re: Gifts for The Visitors

Post by pErvinalia » Thu May 17, 2018 8:30 am

Ebola.
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"You know you blokes didn't criticize Obama. You're lying. - Forty Two. Umm - http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=42144

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest