Personal boundaries online.

[floppit]

What deciding factors do people have for what they post about?

I have three primary ones, I'm not that aware of other factors although I think it likely there are a few. First of all I think about who the information is being shared with and whether it's ethically ok to share it at all. I think that's because I have worked for the last 15 yrs in jobs where confidentiality is important. I would never share the details of a case history, even broadly so or with no names - I simply would not do it. If I'm discussing something where experience from that world is relevant I might share the conclusions I came to and why but it would always be with the caveat that it's up to the reader whether they regard it or not because I won't go into any detail. In the same way I wouldn't share about people in my personal life beyond what they have permitted me to tell who I choose, trusted me with that decision, which leads to my second factor.

Some information I figure is ok to share with some people but not others because it has the potential to be harmful (especially in the real world or to others rather than myself) if known by someone intent on causing harm, that's a trust issue. I figure that trust always has an element of risk involved but also a profound pay off. I find it utterly isolating not to have some trust but how much and with who is an individual decision for any risky information.

Last of all I think about my own boundaries, what I'm able to cope with if it gets a cruel or thoughtless response. I think it's my responsibility and no-one else's to make that decision. If I can't hack dealing with 'the wrong answer' it was my own fault for posting. That doesn't mean I have to always agree, if I can dispute a response or say firmly it was not ok without starting a bloody war or getting into hating etc then all well and good, I figure I've fucked up if I can't get on with it without just blaming the other person rather than looking at how I'm actually dealing with it - if that makes sense?

The worst things I've seen happen online have been those where someone has posted more than they can cope with once someone else cocks up. I've seen that lead to some bloody forum wars where the group has either split defending one side or the other or (even worse) one person deemed to have behaved badly is universally rounded on by the group in defence of another. I'm talking about when the whole thing doesn't stay within the issue but becomes a vilification of whole characters - I've seen that lead to forum splits.

[klr]

I think about all of these factors as well, implicitly as well as explicitly. You must have been reading my mind . There are things that I will never ever reveal here (or on any forum), or in some cases even talk about in general terms.

Oddly enough, I've also spent the last 15/16 years in a job where confidentiality is key, albeit in a slightly different context. I help manage oodles of student-related information in a university, and the first rule is that you just don't talk about anything specific, and even some generalities you've got to skirt around.

[Feck]

Just the things I don't want to talk about to anyone about anyway, don't think there is much that I wouldn't share on Rationalia about me .... I am not private, deep or mysterious

And no you still don't get pictures of me

[Rum]

It depends on the forum almost totally. For example I have noticed a slight reduction of more personal stuff being posted since the 'influx' and the new arrivals. I am sure that will change as people get to know each other again. Its about what people are comfortable posting at any given time.

I have posted some quite personal information here about traumas and problems in the past. There are places I would not do that though.

[floppit]

It depends on the forum almost totally. For example I have noticed a slight reduction of more personal stuff being posted since the 'influx' and the new arrivals. I am sure that will change as people get to know each other again. Its about what people are comfortable posting at any given time.

I have posted some quite personal information here about traumas and problems in the past. There are places I would not do that though.

Do you think that is about numbers? Sort of if 300 people see something there's 10 times more chance of someone using it for harm than if only 30 people see it. Or do you think it has more to do with not wanting a dodgy response so wanting to know who can and can't respond?

[devogue]

I'll talk about anything, bitch about anything, fight about anything, contradict myself, blabber, slobber, talk shite and post pictures of my arse.

My arse will be my immortality. Betty should have posted his.

[Bella Fortuna]

I'll talk about anything, bitch about anything, fight about anything, contradict myself, blabber, slobber, talk shite and post pictures of my arse.

My arse will be my immortality. Betty should have posted his.

We haven't seen it for a long time. I think a refresher is necessary.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I don't talk about my "work", I do vent about it. Other than that I'm not worried about what I post.