The value of the concept of "virginity"

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Oh I wouldn't stop at sex

[Chinaski]

Oh I wouldn't stop at sex

As soon as I find one, you'll know.


Now, stop the derail. What about virginity?

[The Curious Squid]

Speaking from the guy point of view virginity is something that you really are pressured to lose as soon as possible, I didn't lose mine until I was into my 20s and it was a source of stress for me becuase I felt it was something to be embarrassed about because it almost feels like people look down on a man who wasn't had sex if he's past the age of 16 (which I get the impression is later than most of the youth of today do lose thiers).

Now that I've had a few partners I feel stupid that I ever got as worked up about it and I'm glad I didn't just decide to fuck the first person that was willing since I've never been the kind of guy who places much stock in sex, I live my life trying to have as good a time as I can and if i'm in a relationship then all the better.

As to why it might be beneficial for a man to take a woman's virginity there are a few reasons that are religious in their origin but as Gawd pointed out there are some that are grounded on a more rational idea.

The first partner I had sex with was also a virgin and it went a long way to ease my mind since the logical part of me knew that she'd have nothing to compare it to and so I wasn't filling anyone's shoes, to be honest this would still be the case now even when I know that I'm not completely shit at it. Another obvious reason for virginity being seen as a positive is that the chances of them having any STDs are practically 0 unless they've contracted them through other means, as The Dawktor was always eager to point out on RDF, "When you have sex with someone, on a biological level your also having sex with everyone they've ever been with."

Even in the days before science hit it's prime and blessed us with understanding on such matters people would still have been clever enough to make the connection between promiscuity and infectious outbreaks.

Then there's the out dated belief that women were property and often used as trading tools between families of "distinction", we all know that an object is more valuable brand new rather than second hand and in less liberal times that would have been a bigger influence than you might expect, in fact it still is in the Muslim world.

[maiforpeace]

That's why I'm gonna try to avoid girls younger than me from now on. Have to find me a 20+ girl

"Marrying a girl who's not a virgin is like sitting on a warm toilet seat. It doesn't feel bad, but you can't help wondering whose been there before you. "

That's what you might think. And if you are wondering anything, why not just ask?

For those of us who have to sit on toilet seats every time we go, it's rather nice to sit on a warm one, versus a cold one. For that reason I insist on at least having a wooden toilet seat. (those padded ones seem a little gross to me)

I wonder if our concepts about masturbation might also have something to do with it. Why don't we talk about masturbation as much as we do sex with our kids? My parents talked about sex, but never about masturbation. Our culture also considers masturbation among boys to be perfectly natural, but it's never talked about when it comes to girls. I remember hearing from my boyfriends stories about group jack offs (and whats that expression about the biscuits?), but it was never a topic of conversation among my friends, at least when I was growing up. What we talked about was falling in love, and whether or not a boy turned us on, but not how he turned us on. I can't help but think if girls were taught that it's quite fine to masturbate, and not only that, were taught how to masturbate (it's not so obvious perhaps as it is with boys) they wouldn't get into trouble with teenage pregnancy or have misguided beliefs about love, and therefore about their 'supposed' precious virginity, knowing that they can achieve the same level of pleasure, on their own without the help of a boy, as they do when they discover the pleasures of making out and petting.

[The Curious Squid]

Before joining this community I actually used to believe that most women didn't masturbate, now I just believe that more of them are better at lying than I first assumed.

Interesting idea about how the taboo on discussing masturbation could be indirectly responsible for women specifically being more chaste than men. I'd like to know if there are any studies on this.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I lost my virginity at age 14. Neighbor lady about 9 years older than me.

[Chinaski]

I lost my virginity at age 14. Neighbor lady about 9 years older than me.

Every teen's wet dream.

[Transgirlofnofaith]

I lost my virginity at age 14. Neighbor lady about 9 years older than me.

WHAT? Long detailed description, please!

I can't help but think if girls were taught that it's quite fine to masturbate, and not only that, were taught how to masturbate (it's not so obvious perhaps as it is with boys) they wouldn't get into trouble with teenage pregnancy or have misguided beliefs about love, and therefore about their 'supposed' precious virginity, knowing that they can achieve the same level of pleasure, on their own without the help of a boy, as they do when they discover the pleasures of making out and petting.

In this society, it is a huge taboo to talk about our or other people's sexual pleasure, unless it's with friends, or people who participate in making the pleasure. Most people don't talk about whether they have a thing for bikes, or just furry art. And when it comes to telling a whole class about that time at a ski resort you got DP'ed in a hot tub(as an example), then the taboo becomes almost more like a death penalty. Crazy parents, and all that.

[Mysturji]

To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Apart from that, meh.
I certainly wouldn't consider virginity a virtue - mearly an unfortunate condition that is - fortunately - relatively easily rectified. (Easier for some than others.)
Of course, all of the above assumes mutual consent.

[Xamonas Chegwé]

I wouldn't mind having a virgin just the once, to say I'd done it. But it would have to be on her sheets.

[FBM]

I wouldn't mind having a virgin just the once, to say I'd done it. But it would have to be on her sheets.

It has a certain...something...but it's sure as hell not the best sex. For that you need someone who's learned a few things.

[Geoff]

Virginity was never a big deal in the social circles I grew up in, either for boys or girls...the "swinging sixties" and all the hippy free love lifestyle, nobody (of either sex) really had any hangups about keeping/losing it, it just kinda happened when it was ready, so to speak - though I don't think there were any virgins left (again, of either sex) by about age 15.

[redunderthebed]

People are shocked when they find out im 20 and a virgin i dunno why im not that old.

[Animavore]

Virginity is the first thing I look for in a woman.





I never find it but, I look none the less.

[ficklefiend]

I wouldn't mind having a virgin just the once, to say I'd done it. But it would have to be on her sheets.

Are talking about blood?

I always thought that was a myth. She'd have had to have never used a tampon or anything, right? Seems unlikely.