Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

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Brian Peacock
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:25 pm

War! It was here at last. "Thank the Lord," thought Jeremiah, as he eagerly oiled is musket for the second time that day - with 'musket' being the secret name by which he referred to his penis.
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Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:03 am

He was looking forward to the march up the Kyber Passage..
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by JimC » Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:11 am

"They don't like it up 'em!"
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Thu Jan 09, 2020 5:41 pm

"!Dnurgh!" excitedly intoned Gkgarkl, the caste pilot of the Fnurgin destroyer, as he stealthed through the asteroid field around Qlonkidi's second moon on his mission to deploy the blurge device toward the homebase of his cardre's Kliqlonki foe. "!At this rate I'll still be home in time for third-born-second-pod-sibling Glgarmuph's ascenssion!" he chimed gleefully into the mucus comm-stack, little realising that today of all days his proboscis was pointing in completely the wrong direction entirely.
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"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by JimC » Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:37 pm

:lol:
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Jan 10, 2020 9:26 pm

I was late, and all that remained for me at this year's vegan orgy were the smells; ass sweat, patchouli, and weed.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Sat Jan 11, 2020 6:05 am

He had just started his nineteenth length of the pool when the anvil cleared the balcony, it's path describing an arc on its inevitable journey to the bottom of the shallow end that perfectly intersected the point where his head and shoulders met. Physics can be a real bitch like that sometimes.
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"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

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"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Tero » Mon Jan 13, 2020 4:22 pm

Why did she have to be so pancreatic about it? We were getting along fine till then.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:36 am

Less a man at war with himself, than with the whole of the damned planet Earth c-90dx.

--//--//

That's my best bit of fuckery yet. :biggrin:
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Thu Aug 20, 2020 5:34 am

:)

* * *

If only Marjorie has worn socks that day everything would have turned out different. But she didn't, and it didn't.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
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"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Thu Aug 20, 2020 6:32 am

Through the mists of Dragon Mountain foothills, Abercrombie could see at last the Teahouse of the Divine Calmness.
"I demand to see the manager!", Karen insisted.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Thu Aug 20, 2020 6:51 am

:lol: --that's the spirit Peacock.

I'm afraid you're still putting out gold rainbow. It's bad, but it's outstanding parody with far too much potential.

...Abercrombie at the Teahouse of the Divine Calmness...

--come on man! That's too good.
The primary product of pine is pineapple.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by laklak » Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:10 pm

"Once bitten, twice shy!" snarled Wolf Steele as he snapped the tiger shark's neck with his massive forearm.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Sat Aug 22, 2020 1:26 pm

"Aaaaargh!"
"Aye, aye."
"Aaaaaargh!"
"Aye"
...otherwise is was an uneventful night in the Tavern of the Rusty Smuggler.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Thu Oct 08, 2020 2:09 am

Well, well, well, if it isn't Rainbow leaving town on the Missionary Express. Those poor fools haven't got a clue.
The primary product of pine is pineapple.

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