Today on the Toilet - Redux

[Thinking Aloud]

I just do my business and go.

Ditto.

Women.

[FedUpWithFaith]

I just do my business and go.

Ditto.

Women.

This does seem to be a distinct difference between the sexes. Same with my wife. She just doesn't understand.

I'll bet in cave man times it was the same. The men occupied themselves with something while the women just got the job done fast. They had to - no telling what her kids were up to when her eyes were off 'em.

Seems to me women consider going to the bathroom a chore while men consider it a time for pensive relaxation. No wonder we often call it "the throne". It's the only place where a man can still be king of his castle and left alone.

[maiforpeace]

I just do my business and go.

Ditto.

Women.

This does seem to be a distinct difference between the sexes. Same with my wife. She just doesn't understand.

I'll bet in cave man times it was the same. The men occupied themselves with something while the women just got the job done fast. They had to - no telling what her kids were up to when her eyes were off 'em.

Seems to me women consider going to the bathroom a chore while men consider it a time for pensive relaxation. No wonder we often call it "the throne". It's the only place where a man can still be king of his castle and left alone.

I don't consider it to be a chore. It's a lovely relief. I just don't consider it to be time well spent, just sitting there breathing the fumes and reading, when I could be more comfortably ensconced in a lounge chair with a nice drink.

[Thinking Aloud]

I don't consider it to be a chore. It's a lovely relief. I just don't consider it to be time well spent, just sitting there breathing the fumes and reading, when I could be more comfortably ensconced in a lounge chair with a nice drink.

Maybe men do it when they know there's other stuff to be done so take their time, but women do it when they know they've done all the other stuff and can now relax.

[devogue]

When I have a really big shit and it's stuck I try to exercise mind over matter by imagining I am on a Harley Davidson.

I lean slightly forward from the toilet and I hold my hands up, revving away and making "vroom vroom" noises in my mind.



I know it sounds funny but I find that it takes my mind off my faecal predicament and things happen much more quickly and smoothly.

I note that this thread is in a serious forum, so no piss-taking, please.

[Azathoth]

When I have a really big shit and it's stuck I try to exercise mind over matter by imagining I am on a Harley Davidson.

I lean slightly forward from the toilet and I hold my hands up, revving away and making "vroom vroom" noises in my mind.



I know it sounds funny but I find that it takes my mind off my faecal predicament and things happen much more quickly and smoothly.

I note that this thread is in a serious forum, so no piss-taking, please.

I just fell off my chair

[Thinking Aloud]

When I have a really big shit and it's stuck I try to exercise mind over matter by imagining I am on a Harley Davidson.

I lean slightly forward from the toilet and I hold my hands up, revving away and making "vroom vroom" noises in my mind.



I know it sounds funny but I find that it takes my mind off my faecal predicament and things happen much more quickly and smoothly.

I note that this thread is in a serious forum, so no piss-taking, please.

I just fell off my chair

You weren't supposed to imitate him.

[Rum]

I am sometimes surprised at the size of the individual 'units' I produce.

[FedUpWithFaith]

I am sometimes surprised at the size of the individual 'units' I produce.

How big are your kids now Rum?

[Rum]

I am sometimes surprised at the size of the individual 'units' I produce.

How big are your kids now Rum?

LOL. My human units are pretty big. One is actually *too* big at something like 18 stone (18*14 lbs). The other is about right.

My turd units seem to me occasionally to be infeasible large.

[FedUpWithFaith]

When I have a really big shit and it's stuck I try to exercise mind over matter by imagining I am on a Harley Davidson.

I lean slightly forward from the toilet and I hold my hands up, revving away and making "vroom vroom" noises in my mind.



I know it sounds funny but I find that it takes my mind off my faecal predicament and things happen much more quickly and smoothly.

I note that this thread is in a serious forum, so no piss-taking, please.

I just fell off my chair

Frankly, I think Dev could have done better.

Dev, this thread is in the Literature Section. You do read on the toilet don't you?

Please try to be more circumspect when posting to Today on the ToiletTM.
Thank you.

-FedUpWithFaith, Editor-in-Chief
Today on the ToiletTM

[Pappa]

I read some of The Extended Phenotype on the bog in work, and a bit of a book about design patterns in PHP on the bog at home.

[devogue]

When I have a really big shit and it's stuck I try to exercise mind over matter by imagining I am on a Harley Davidson.

I lean slightly forward from the toilet and I hold my hands up, revving away and making "vroom vroom" noises in my mind.



I know it sounds funny but I find that it takes my mind off my faecal predicament and things happen much more quickly and smoothly.

I note that this thread is in a serious forum, so no piss-taking, please.

I just fell off my chair

[Animavore]

When I have a really big shit and it's stuck I try to exercise mind over matter by imagining I am on a Harley Davidson.

I lean slightly forward from the toilet and I hold my hands up, revving away and making "vroom vroom" noises in my mind.



I know it sounds funny but I find that it takes my mind off my faecal predicament and things happen much more quickly and smoothly.

I note that this thread is in a serious forum, so no piss-taking, please.

I just fell off my chair

I just fell off the toilet.

[Animavore]

In a serious response to the OP.
The last thing I read on the toilet was the instruction manual I found in a packet of Lil-Lets: Super Plus Extra Tampons on top of the cistern, presumably my mothers. That is when I found out about toxic shock syndrome.
I'm convinced more that God hate women more than men. They just suffer from so much more nasty shit then we do. Well, they got us fucked out of paradise so they deserve every thing they get IMHO.