Worst Analogies

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Rob
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Rob » Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:11 am

Its midnight, I'm the only only one up and here I am cracking up, loudly might I add, at these. I'm lucky my girlfriend doesn't wake herself to see what the commotion is. I love this.
I can live with doubt, and uncertainty, and not knowing. I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. [...] I don’t feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in a mysterious universe without having any purpose, which is the way it really is, as far as I can tell, possibly. It doesn’t frighten me. - Richard Feynman
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Cunt » Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:25 am

I have been laughing loudly at these, and a photo I took earlier...
Trigger Warning!!!1! :
EDIT - to fit and spoiler photo
Shit, Piss, Cock, Cunt, Motherfucker, Cocksucker and Tits.
-various artists


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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Gallstones » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:32 am

You know that kind of laughing where it is a convulsion and no sound comes out except the occasional snort?

I've been doing that for.....several minutes now and I haven't gotten past #16 of Ian's OP.

I'm going to asphyxiate myself on applesauce if I'm not careful.
But here’s the thing about rights. They’re not actually supposed to be voted on. That’s why they’re called rights. ~Rachel Maddow August 2010

The Second Amendment forms a fourth branch of government (an armed citizenry) in case the government goes mad. ~Larry Nutter
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Gallstones » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:54 am

25) She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.


Geschpooklichkeit


Be specific, more or less.


Colloquialisms are grody to the max.


:coffeespray: Image :hilarious:
But here’s the thing about rights. They’re not actually supposed to be voted on. That’s why they’re called rights. ~Rachel Maddow August 2010

The Second Amendment forms a fourth branch of government (an armed citizenry) in case the government goes mad. ~Larry Nutter
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Millefleur » Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:21 am

Gallstones wrote:You know that kind of laughing where it is a convulsion and no sound comes out except the occasional snort?
Same, but mine was more of a Muttley-ish wheeze :hehe:
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Gallstones » Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:53 pm

Millefleur wrote:
Gallstones wrote:You know that kind of laughing where it is a convulsion and no sound comes out except the occasional snort?
Same, but mine was more of a Muttley-ish wheeze :hehe:
I know that laugh too. :lol:



This was all happening at about 0200 my time and I may have kept my son awake. I bet he uses it as an excuse for being tardy this morning and missing first period.
But here’s the thing about rights. They’re not actually supposed to be voted on. That’s why they’re called rights. ~Rachel Maddow August 2010

The Second Amendment forms a fourth branch of government (an armed citizenry) in case the government goes mad. ~Larry Nutter
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Hermit » Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:09 am

In my search to help Scholastic Spastic improve his pick-up lines I saw this analogy: "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in."
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops. - Stephen J. Gould
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Thumpalumpacus » Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:20 am

My parents had a raft of comparisons, analogies, and the like. Dad didn't get mad, he got mad enough to chew nails and spit tacks. He wasn't just hung over; he felt like a rattlesnake in a cattle stampede. And when I got in bad trouble, I got whooped like a red-headed step-child.
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Rum » Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:45 am

I like this thread as much as a man-eating shark would like coming across 20 school kids swimming near a beach with a strong tide stopping them getting to safety!
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Thumpalumpacus » Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:51 am

It is slicker than snail shit.
these are things we think we know
these are feelings we might even share
these are thoughts we hide from ourselves
these are secrets we cannot lay bare.
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by FBM » Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:21 am

Hotter than a $100 whore.
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Thumpalumpacus » Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:54 pm

Jumpier than a frog on a griddle.
these are things we think we know
these are feelings we might even share
these are thoughts we hide from ourselves
these are secrets we cannot lay bare.
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Rum » Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:57 pm

As certain as a pope.
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Cunt » Wed Apr 13, 2011 7:29 pm

I've stepped over bigger men than him to watch a real fight.
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Re: Worst Analogies

Post by Magicziggy » Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:01 am

All brilliantly funny. 18 is pure Douglas Adams.

I think these two in quick succession had me snorting red wine through my nose:
8) He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

9) Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
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