Film fantasy? I got your film fantasy right here. I am going to repair a hopelessly broken movie before your very eyes.
I'm going to assume that I'm not the only MST3K fan here, so I trust when I say "Manos: Hands of Fate", appropriate tremors of fear are felt.
If not, here
is the complete unMSTed version. We'll see you in about 70 minutes, if you still have any will to live remaining.
Back? Still among the living? No, sorry, the burning sensation will never go away. What has been seen cannot be unseen.
"But," I hear you whimper through your sobs, "you said you could fix that... that horrible mess!"
Indeed I can. And stop crying, there are worse movies than that. Try Red Zone Cuba without
Mike and the 'Bots down in the front right row. Even I haven't got the nerve to watch that unMSTed. Or the Star Wars *shudder* Holiday Special.
Anyway, here's Manos: Hands of Fate remade as a good movie:
Written and directed by the Coen Brothers.
Starring John Goodman as Mike.
Frances McDormand as Margaret (the wife)
Johnny Depp as Torgo
Bruce Campbell as The Master
Special guest appearance by Mike Nelson and Brigit Jones as the couple making out in the car
Special guest appearance by Kevin Murphy and Frank Coniff as the cops
The kid and the Master's wives are not anyone you need name actors for. Anyone Joel and Ethan are happy with.
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't." -- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy