1) Miss Hoolie is the ugliest woman ever. PC Plum is a homosexualist. "I'm Archie" is almost the most addictive song ever.
2) That presenter with half an arm missing is creepy looking. Why can't she cover the stump? Just once.
3) Big Cook and Little Cook are top boys.
4) Alphablocks is very strange.
5) In fact, it's all very strange.
6) On Boogie Beebies, Nat singing "There's a hole in my shoe and the other one too, gonna hop on down to the shoe shop, gonna step right in, gonna have a look around, there's so many shoes to choose from" is the most addictive song ever.
7) CBeebies version of Happy Birthday is even better than the one everyone knows, especially if it's tweaked slightly "Are you one, are you two, are you three, are you four, are you five, six, seven or ei-gh-gh-gh-t - every fucker here wishes you a happy birthday, have a happy day today!"
8) The bed time song actually works.
9) Justin Fletcher is Lord God Almighty.
but they both loved the bedtime hour - 63 Zoo Lane or whatever it was called, and they loved teletubbies, and that one with the guy in the library and the toys came alive at night, and Raggy Dolls, and Noddy, and Thomas Tank, and lots more. Sigh. SEE!! This is why I'm broody!!! 
