Made me laugh.

Holy Crap!
Post Reply
User avatar
Chinaski
Mazel tov cocktail
Posts: 3043
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:33 am
About me: Barfly
Location: Aberdeen
Contact:

Made me laugh.

Post by Chinaski » Tue Jun 02, 2009 11:35 pm

http://www.thegoodatheist.net/2009/06/s ... han-jesus/
This article ( http://thebeattitude.com/2009/05/31/acc ... -than-god/ ) made me want to include a little list of why Superman is better than Jesus. I’ve made a comparative list so that I can definitively prove that the last son of Krypton is superior to the King of Kings in almost every way.
Superman has saved the planet for destruction numerous times. Jesus has threatened to return and bring upon the end of the earth with him, but so far is a fucking “no-show”.
Jesus performed a few miracles, but Superman can shoot laser beams out of his eyes, he can fly, is indestructible, and can see through everything except lead. In one movie he turned back time. How awesome is that?
Jesus may have died for your sins, but Superman died to protect us from an intergalactic killing machine called Doomsday.
When Jesus died, he was resurrected 3 days later and then abruptly left, telling his disciples he’d be back within their lifetimes (an obvious lie). Superman died, was in stasis for a while, and emerged with long glorious 90’s hair. Unlike Jesus, however, Superman stuck around and has been busy keeping the world safe from evil.
Although not a God, Superman still risks his life all the time trying to combat super villains. Jesus, on the other hand, is apparently all powerful, and yet refuses to do something as basic as healing amputees.
Superman can move mountains. Jesus claims praying to him will accomplish the same feat, but no noticeable effects from prayer have ever been measured.
Superman is an expert in dozens of languages, and is an accomplished journalist. Jesus never left any writings, or evidence of any of his works.
Superman hooked up with the insanely hot Lois Lane, while the only women that showed any interest in Jesus were all prostitutes.
Jesus said “But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me” (Luke 19:27). Superman, on the other hand, has a strict code of conduct that forbids him to kill anyone.
If you fell out of your apartment window and cried for help, Superman would try and save you. Not only will Jesus not even bother to save you; he will send you to hell for all eternity if you don’t believe in him.
Now some people may criticize me for this article, and they might be right: what’s the point in debating which fictional character is better, anyways?
Is there for honest poverty
That hangs his heid and a' that
The coward slave, we pass him by
We dare be puir for a' that.

Imagehttp://imagegen.last.fm/iTunesFIXED/rec ... mphony.gif[/img2]

User avatar
Kristie
Elastigirl
Posts: 25108
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:14 pm
About me: From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere!
Location: Probably at Target
Contact:

Re: Made me laugh.

Post by Kristie » Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:02 am

That was awesome. I could really piss my Dad and Grandpa off by sending that to them. :hehe:
We danced.

User avatar
Millie
Double-D Atheist
Posts: 454
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:39 am
Location: Shacked up with a Double Bass Atheist in NJ, USA
Contact:

Re: Made me laugh.

Post by Millie » Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:01 am

:hilarious: This is fan-fecking-tastic!!!

User avatar
Feck
.
.
Posts: 28391
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:25 pm
Contact:

Re: Made me laugh.

Post by Feck » Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:06 am

:clap: loved the kicker in the last line ,beautiful .
:hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog:
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread

User avatar
AshtonBlack
Tech Monkey
Tech Monkey
Posts: 7773
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:01 pm
Location: <insert witty joke locaction here>
Contact:

Re: Made me laugh.

Post by AshtonBlack » Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:14 am

Nice find!

10 Fuck Off
20 GOTO 10
Ashton Black wrote:"Dogma is the enemy, not religion, per se. Rationality, genuine empathy and intellectual integrity are anathema to dogma."

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests