Local news...not The Onion

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Tero
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Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Wed Sep 04, 2019 11:44 am

Post stories worthy of The Onion but real.
E9CCD0CD-E615-4868-A459-DC8B595B3E71.jpeg
In one of the cases, a business near 13th and N Streets was burglarized on August 21.

Surveillance video showed the suspect taking 3 cans of Mountain Dew, a 2 liter of Mountain Dew, a Starbucks Frappe and Swiss Miss hot chocolate.

The suspect also took his time to make two cups of coffee, and had to steal a mug so he could take it 'to go.'

On his way out of the business, the suspect stole an expensive tablet.
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

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Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Wed Sep 04, 2019 9:33 pm

https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

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Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Fri Jan 03, 2020 4:49 pm

0CC5949B-2237-4300-91EB-EE360FA075C5.jpeg
It's like Florida. But without alligators or any sort of creative spin.
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by laklak » Sat Jan 04, 2020 5:20 am

Bradenton last night (just across the river from the marina). Guy wakes up to find some dude has broken into his house and is sucking on his toes. Fight ensues. Toe sucker tries to fondle the guy's junk and gets beat up. Cops are called. Toe sucker comes back and breaks house window, jumps on victims car and stomps in windscreen, then runs away. Cops bring in dogs but suspect escapes. This is why we call it "Bradentucky".

https://www.fox13news.com/news/deputies ... rdHk5Bf0Js
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Sean Hayden » Sat Jan 04, 2020 5:40 am

--gatormeth and the hornies, -shudder-

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Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Mon Jan 06, 2020 6:00 pm

ADC22912-BE2F-4CD2-976E-69B6791D56CC.jpeg
Loitering, marijuana
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Mon Jan 06, 2020 6:01 pm

F5BC0DF3-DB48-4145-8AE1-21B49B308C21.jpeg
Some kond of brawl, resisting arrest
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Mon Jan 06, 2020 6:47 pm

6E51C290-B82A-4772-96A3-338E5064711C.jpeg
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Wed Jan 08, 2020 1:34 pm

Area woman avoids getting pulled into pallet chipper
https://www.1011now.com/content/news/Gr ... 88461.html
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47194
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Thu Jan 09, 2020 9:30 pm

06F63A82-10D3-47B6-A8E3-261FF82A5607.jpeg
UK has 2 fewer royal parasites to support. Meghan and Harry to be mainstramed?
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47194
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Thu Jan 09, 2020 10:05 pm

https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47194
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:28 pm

The colored royal duchess returns to the provinces, having rejected Sussex.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/202 ... e-solution
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Sean Hayden
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Jan 10, 2020 1:30 pm

Hella purse strings that eh?

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Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Fri Jan 10, 2020 2:04 pm

21B8FA79-DBE6-4DD4-A44D-373CC5A166F4.png
An RV park is going up there. Must be the SE farm lot with no house. Must be easier than growing growing soybeans there. It is some 6 miles N of the interstate. The roads are paved, so that is the advantage.

Which would you like, rural folks? Wind turbines or traffic from mobile home park?
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

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Woodbutcher
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Woodbutcher » Fri Jan 10, 2020 6:22 pm

Tero wrote:
Fri Jan 10, 2020 2:04 pm
21B8FA79-DBE6-4DD4-A44D-373CC5A166F4.png
An RV park is going up there. Must be the SE farm lot with no house. Must be easier than growing growing soybeans there. It is some 6 miles N of the interstate. The roads are paved, so that is the advantage.

Which would you like, rural folks? Wind turbines or traffic from mobile home park?
Wind turbines, fer sure! Dead birds= supper. Better than roadkill for us geezers. Sometimes roadkill tastes somewhat rubbery...
If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.-Red Green
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