Local news...not The Onion

[Svartalf]

I thought natural selection was supposed to take care of people that dumb

[Tero]

Customer "solves" conspiracy with gun.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/16/us/ohio- ... index.html

[Tero]

Lincoln man pleads not guilty to writing bad checks for kangaroos and alpaca
https://www.klkntv.com/lincoln-man-plea ... nd-alpaca/

[Tero]

Even if the gun did not work, he had a mace. Or he beats dogs with it.

LINCOLN, Neb. (KOLN) - A man is behind bars after Lincoln Police seized several grams of
meth along with a gun and a medieval weapon.

Jack Cain, 56, faces a slew of charges which include theft, meth possession and five weapons violations. On top of the new charges, jail records show Cain was wanted on five warrants, most of which include offenses against dogs.

On Friday, two officers were out on patrol and spotted a 2015 Ford Escape parked at the U-Stop near 13th and South streets. An officer ran the plates and found that the car was stolen out of Greenwood.

They approached the vehicle and ordered Cain out of the vehicle. He didn’t comply, and the officer eventually had to pull a firearm and a baton before he finally got out, court records show.
After a brief struggle, Cain was taken into custody. Further investigation showed that Cain was wanted on five warrants.

A search of the vehicle turned up 19.1 grams of suspected methamphetamine between four bags as well as a scale. Officers also seized a Hi-Point .45 caliber pistol with nine bullets in its magazine, according to an arrest affidavit.

Police said a four-inch switchblade and a garrote were then located, as well as a morningstar — a medieval mace with a spiked ball attached to a 33-inch handle via a chain.

Cain is a convicted felon, police wrote, which prohibits him from possessing deadly weapons.