Local news...not The Onion

[Tero]

Gay man runs off from partner in jogging outfit. Has working phone.
https://www.1011now.com/2023/11/07/sear ... ion-wanes/

[Tero]

Gay man still missing.
https://www.klkntv.com/missing-lancaste ... puty-says/

[Tero]

Big Government goes after Native!

Oklahoma trooper tickets Native American citizen, sparking outrage from tribal leaders
OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — An Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper ticketed a tribal citizen with a current Otoe-Missouria Tribe license plate for failing to pay state taxes, prompting an outcry from tribal leaders who blamed Gov. Kevin Stitt's increasing hostility toward Native Americans.

Crystal Deroin, an Otoe-Missouria Tribe citizen, was ticketed for speeding near Enid on Tuesday and received a second $249 citation for failure to pay state motor vehicle taxes because she did not live on tribal land.
But an Oklahoma Department of Public Safety spokeswoman said the 1993 ruling said Indians can only use a tribal tag if they reside and “principally garage” their vehicle in the tribe's Indian country. In Deroin's case, she lives near Enid, Oklahoma, which is about 45 miles (70 kilometers) from the Otoe-Missouria's headquarters in Red Rock.

https://news.yahoo.com/oklahoma-trooper ... 49474.html

[Tero]

A rare one. Also a week ago two motorcyclists (unknown to each other) crashed, one killed the other.

Police said a 62-year-old man on a motorcycle smashed into the back on an SUV that was stopped at red light. Witnesses told police the man was speeding and erratically passing vehicles at the time.

The SUV driver was not injured.

https://www.1011now.com/2023/11/16/moto ... t-lincoln/

[Tero]

Area criminal captured and to be extradited to next state.
https://www.1011now.com/2023/11/21/susp ... e-officer/
Man was shot and bandaged. Lucky for us we have his ptevious mugshot.

[Tero]

Penniless woman hires hitman to kill ex's grirlfriend and her kids. "She would pay later."
https://www.1011now.com/2023/12/08/elwo ... hire-case/

[Tero]

No security cameras needed. This is a very typical crime in the real world.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/202 ... debit-card

[Tero]

Man stabs wife's boyfriend. He has a record, otherwise the victim would be shot and dead by now. he cannot buy a legal gun.

https://www.klkntv.com/man-accused-of-f ... -stabbing/

[Tero]

English politics. Something about a PPE empire in the pandemic.

Draw near, readers, for these are testing times for bouncy-blow-dried plague profiteer Michelle Mone and her husband/support garment Doug Barrowman. And also, perhaps, for the Conservative figures who ennobled her ladyship, then helped her and Doug fast-track their way into providing £203m of Covid PPE, from which they cleared at least £65m in profit, even though much of the PPE was allegedly unusable.

Michelle lied repeatedly and for years about her involvement to the Guardian – which broke the story – and on Sunday insisted: “That’s not a crime.” PPE Medpro and the couple are being investigated by the National Crime Agency, which – and I’m honestly just going on the title here – does maybe have something to do with crime. The Mone-Barrowmans, obviously, deny everything.

But look, let’s just get into technical terms for a second: Michelle is 5ft 9in of pure chaos, and watching Rishi Sunak whinnying feebly about “taking all these things incredibly seriously” tees up the spectacle of the prime minister and a number of other drippy male politicians further incensing this Category 5 “force of nature”, who will lash out all the way down on her well-earned fall from grace. Is that as good as taxpayers getting their money back? No. But I’ll watch.

Can it really be only six years since Mone and Barrowman were granting “their first joint interview” to Hello! magazine, standing in formalwear in front of their Isle of Man McMansion – a Ferrari parked with gossamer insouciance just behind them, as if to say … well, as if to say GREETINGS, SHITHEADS – DID WE MENTION WE OWN A FERRARI?

more
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... zJvor0cXKM

[Tero]

Winter time one car accidents are two kinds:
1 car is out of control on ice or even in a traffic circle, end up on roof
2 car drives off road into tree or utility pole
https://www.klkntv.com/73-year-old-man- ... -nebraska/

[rasetsu]

‘This is Cecil. He has never done anything bad in his life until he ate $4,000.’

Clayton intrepidly donned a mask and gloves, grabbed a bunch of plastic bags and accompanied Cecil on his backyard rounds over the next two days as the dog relieved himself.

He and Carrie then sifted through the dog’s droppings and washed the torn bits of bills with dish soap in a utility sink.

---

She and Clayton were able to retrieve about $1,800 from Cecil’s backyard deposits, boosting their total to $3,550.

Carrie said she plans to send the washed remnants they couldn’t piece together to the Treasury Department, in the hope they might get some of it back.

If not, the Laws said it’s the price they must pay for a family story they can pass down to their son.

[JimC]

Merde!

[Tero]

Nebraska Beef, Omaha meat packer, lost a worker's fingertip in the product. Making all consumers technically cannibsls.

[Tero]

Area man goes crazy wrecking cars while removing snow with "skid loader"

https://www.ketv.com/article/lincoln-ma ... e/46399779#

This is MY hardware store!

[Tero]

Sticking to their burial plan.
https://www.1011now.com/2024/01/18/man- ... anicclicks