Meanwhile, in Florida...

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Sean Hayden
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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:01 pm

Florida Man, Thinking He Hears a Home Intruder, Shoots and Kills His Pregnant Wife: 'My Life is Over'
This is one those accidental shootings I was talking about. I know it seems cruel to doubt, but you don't accidentally shoot your wife because you heard an intruder. It doesn't make sense.

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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by JimC » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:23 pm

My life with my wife is over.

My life with my secretary is just beginning... :tea:
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:26 pm

:hehe:

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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by laklak » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:29 pm

Didn't work for Oscar Pistorius.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Animavore » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:33 pm

Man shoots doctor after ejaculating during prostate exam
https://www.web24.news/u/2020/09/man-sh ... -exam.html

How did this get by?
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.

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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by laklak » Fri Nov 06, 2020 8:24 pm

Damn, my urologist never gives me a prostate massage.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Animavore » Sat Nov 07, 2020 3:47 pm

When I was a child we had "Kerryman" jokes. Like, "What's a Kerryman's latest invention?"
"An underwater hairdryer."
The implication being that Kerry was the butt-end of Ireland and being referred to as a Kerryman meant you were a bit of a thicko.
When I got older I realised that the Brits had the exact same jokes except they were "Irishman" jokes. I soon realised that Ireland was the Kerry of Europe.

Given Florida is the Kerry of the US, what's Florida's Kerry?
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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Tero » Sat Nov 07, 2020 4:32 pm

Here you go
3D2D72AA-7E45-4388-8F62-BF83E0EAD375.jpeg
3D2D72AA-7E45-4388-8F62-BF83E0EAD375.jpeg (104.89 KiB) Viewed 1723 times
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Our case for survival before it's too late

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Turn stone to bread right away...

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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Svartalf » Sat Nov 07, 2020 5:43 pm

laklak wrote:
Fri Nov 06, 2020 8:24 pm
Damn, my urologist never gives me a prostate massage.
He knows you'd bite his nose off.
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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Svartalf » Sat Nov 07, 2020 5:46 pm

Animavore wrote:
Sat Nov 07, 2020 3:47 pm
When I was a child we had "Kerryman" jokes. Like, "What's a Kerryman's latest invention?"
"An underwater hairdryer."
The implication being that Kerry was the butt-end of Ireland and being referred to as a Kerryman meant you were a bit of a thicko.
When I got older I realised that the Brits had the exact same jokes except they were "Irishman" jokes. I soon realised that Ireland was the Kerry of Europe.

Given Florida is the Kerry of the US, what's Florida's Kerry?
the bayou.


and how do you know a kerryman is going to a weddiing?



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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Tero » Sat Nov 07, 2020 6:07 pm

Trailerpark.
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Scot Dutchy » Sat Nov 07, 2020 6:13 pm

Well known to certain members.
"Wat is het een gezellig boel hier".

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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Seabass » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:29 am

In a dramatic encounter recorded by surveillance cameras, a Florida man chased an alligator under water and rescued his 3-month-old puppy from the jaws of death.

Richard Wilbanks, 74, of Estero ran into his backyard pond, wrestled the gator above surface, and pried its jaws open to free Gunner, his Cavalier King Charles spaniel.

"We were just out walking by the pond," Wilbanks told CNN, "and it came out of the water like a missile. I never thought an alligator could be that fast. It was so quick."

He said adrenaline or instinct kicked in, and "I just automatically jumped into the water."

Holding the alligator wasn't so tough, but prying open the jaws was "extremely hard," he said.

Wilbanks said his hands were "chewed up," and he went to a doctor for a tetanus shot.

Gunner had one puncture wound in his belly and did fine after a trip to the veterinarian's office.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/21/us/puppy ... index.html
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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by JimC » Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:08 am

Man is a dog's best friend...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

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Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Seabass » Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:16 am

JimC wrote:
Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:08 am
Florida Man is a dog's best friend...
:fix:
"Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities." —Voltaire
"They want to take away your hamburgers. This is what Stalin dreamt about but never achieved." —Sebastian Gorka

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