Poofter's Froth Wyoming

[Tero]

I think it's finally come to pass. It was already predicted for the Bicentennial but took a little longer:

Zappa: While we're at it, we have a sort of a cowboy song we'd like to do for ya. This is a song that deals with the rapidly approaching 200th birthday of the United States of America, ladies and gentlemen! This is a song that warns you in advance that next year everybody is gonna try and sell you things that maybe you shouldn't ought to buy, and not only that, they've been planning it for years. The name of this song is (pardon me), "Poofters Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead"

Captain Beefheart
[Verse 1]
Poofter's Froth, Wyoming
March Eleven Sixty-Seven
Take a letter, Ms. Abetter
An' our pigeons will be homing
To our jobbers in Dakota
And to Merwyn, Minnesota
This is merely just a note about
Performance to our quota
Well, we've all come out to show them
An' the Elks have helped us load 'em
Little packets full of jackets
Little rackets, little rackets

[Verse 2]
Little Poofter-Cloth Appointments
Little Poofter's Froth Anointments
Little hoods, little goods
Little doo-dads from the woods
The entire stock is shipping
Oh, our shod is hardly slipping!
To our markets of the world
Our wrinkled pennants are unfurled!
T-shirt racks, rubber snacks
Poster rolls with matching tacks
Yes, a special beer for sports
And paper cups that hold two quarts!

[Verse 3]
Everything a nation needs
For making hoopla while it feeds
The trash compactors, small reactors
Mowers, blowers, throwers and the glowers
This is Buy-Cent-Any-All Salute
Two hundred years have gone ka-poot!
Ah but we have been astute!
Signed: Anon. – Wyo. Galoot

Next:confinement loaf.

[Tero]

You can substitute Bush for Tricky:

"Dickie's Such An Asshole (The San Clemente Magnetic Deviation)"

[includes quotes from Midnight Sun (Hampton/Burke/Mercer), The Battle Hymn Of The Republic (Steffe/Howe) and Billy The Mountain]

[FZ:] Thank you! Hate to see this go to waste
[Ike:] Fringe. I mean that, man
[FZ:] Alright. CNN ran a story last week about this new product that has been developed for our prison system. It is called "Confinement Loaf." Now what it is it's, uh, bean by-products compressed into a loaf, which is administered to problem prisoners. Their diet will be a slice of "Confinement Loaf" and a cup of water, and it seems to mellow them out right away. So my question is: How long before "Confinement Loaf" appears in United States High Schools?

One 'n one is eleven!
Two 'n two is twenty-two!
Won't somebody kindly tell me,
What the government's tryin' t' do . . .
Dickie's just to tricky
For a chump like me to use, oh use
You take that sub-committee serious, boy (and I'm serious)
You just might get a seizure from the evenin' news

Millions 'n millions of dollars . . .
Much as he might need . . . (good work!)
He could open up a chain of motels, people,
On the highway, yes indeed!

Quadrophonic desperation! (oh, pinch that loaf now!)
There might be confinement loaf up under your bed (well . . . )
You know if you just might pinch a little loaf in your slumber (pffft . . . NURSE!)
The FBI is gonna get your number

GONNA GET YA
GONNA GET YA
GONNA JUMP UP THE SUB-COMMITTEE AND GET YA!

THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
THEY ALREADY GOT YOUR PICTURE
THE FBI
AND YOUR FINGERPRINTS TOO
THE FBI
THEN THEY GOT A GUY IN VIRGINA
THE FBI
WHIFFING UP A LITTLE SOUP JUST FOR YOU

GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER

Tryin' not to worry
Tryin' not to care
But you know, I get so excited
When that soup goes over there

Can't have no private conversation
Nowhere
In the USA
Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the the world
Find out that their confinement loaf
Is just the same ol' way
Every day . . .
(Pinch that loaf now!)

Let me tell you about this right now
Let me tell you about this right here
Let me make this formerly clear
Let me tell you about this right here
You know you put me in office
So you must have wanted me in office
I did you no harm
I used to have twenty-five tapes
Now I only got ten
Can't remember what happened to the rest
S'pose I gave 'em to a friend
Gave a couple to Bebe Rebozo
Gave a couple to Pat Boone
Gave a couple to Ronald Reagan
Gave a couple to the new vice-president
He said he'd stick with me through thick and thin
Even if I invaded Nicaragua
You know I'm not a crook
You know I'm not a crook
I just wanna lie about one more thing right now . . .
(Say yeah yeah . . . )

The gangster stepped right up,
'N kissed him on the lips good-bye
Made him a cocksucker by proxy, yes he did,
An' he didn't even bat an eye!

The man in the White House - oooh!
He's got a conscience black as sin!
(Yeah, maybe I . . . I don't know but, it's just a training exercise)
There's just one thing I wanna know -
How'd that asshole ever manage to get in?

You're all the same, so sing right along now:

DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE
Sincerely, Dick, we mean it
Sincerely, Ron, we mean it
Sincerely, Dick and Ron, we continue to mean it
Wee-ooo

Now let's bring the Republican Party up to date . . .

[Tero]

Not sure if this happened yet, you decide.

BROWN MOSES: (singing)
Oh-oh! Wait a minute!
What?
What wickedness id dis?
De way you's carryin' on!
Dis pygmy I be clutchin'
Have been lef' out on de lawn!
De daddy were ne-GLIJ-ible,
De mama were de-FLATE-able,
De trauma to de imfunt
Be mostly not ne-GATE-able
Yo' urgin' to be exitin'
Because of dem fla-min-i-go's
Be thoroughly perplexin' him
Because of where yo' petuh goes
Photos


If only you been 'siderate
Erbout dis lil' illiterate
I wouldna been trudgin' cross de san'
Fum way down yonder in E-gyp-lan'
Dey callin' me BROWN MOSES,
Fo' dat id sho'ly what I am,
Ancient an' re-lij-er-mus
Solemn an' pres-tig-i-mus
Wisdom reekin' outa me
'Long wif summa dis baby pee
'Minds me of dem River Weeds
'N all dem ignint Bible deeds
Growed up in de Pharaoh place,
Lef' de sucker in disgrace!
Some dem boys refuse to loin
Somthin' smokin': Somthin' boin!
Somethin' borry: Somethin' blue!
Best keeps a lil' paper
In yo shoe!
Hear me when I's tellin' you:
Leavin' de midgit were
WRONG T'DO!
It's a terr'ble thang, done did to him
Left wit de crab-grass
Over his chin!
Sho'ly one day he will grow,
'N put some shit
In yo' sack o' woe
OL' BROWN MOSES now have spoke!
Could ya lends me 'bout a dollar?
I's a tiny bit broke
I likes my wine
I loves my gin
'N fo a lil' collateral,
I'll gives ya HIM!
A lil' collateral,
I'll gives ya HIM!
A lil' collateral,
I'll gives ya HIM!
I said a lil' collateral,
A lil' collateral,
A lil' collateral,
A lil' collateral,
A lil' collateral,
I'll gives ya HIM!
I'll gives ya HIM!


Read more: Frank Zappa - Brown Moses Lyrics

[Tero]

[Tero]

"Dumb All Over"

Whoever we are
Wherever we're from
We shoulda noticed by now
Our behavior is dumb
And if our chances
Expect to improve
It's gonna take a lot more
Than tryin' to remove
The other race
Or the other whatever
From the face
Of the planet altogether
They call it THE EARTH
Which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right
'Cause we behave the same...
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over,
Yes we are
Dumb all over,
Near'n far
Dumb all over
Black 'n white
People, we is not wrapped tight
Nurds on the left
Nurds on the right
Religious fanatics
On the air every night
Sayin' the Bible
Tells the story
Makes the details
Sound real gory
'Bout what to do
If the geeks over there
Don't believe in the book
We got over here
You can't run a race
Without no feet
'N pretty soon
There won't be no street
For dummies to jog on
Or doggies to dog on
Religious fanatics
Can make it be all gone
(I mean it won't blow up
'N disappear
It'll just look ugly
For a thousand years...)
You can't run a country
By a book of religion
Not by a heap
Or a lump or a smidgeon
Of foolish rules
Of ancient date
Designed to make
You all feel great
While you fold, spindle
And mutilate
Those unbelievers
From a neighboring state
TO ARMS! TO ARMS!
Hooray! That's great
Two legs ain't bad
Unless there's a crate
They ship the parts
To mama in
For souvenirs: two ears (Get down!)
Not his, not hers (but what the hey?)
The Good Book says:
"It's gotta be that way!"
But their book says:
"REVENGE THE CRUSADES. . .
With whips 'n chains
'N hand grenades. . ."
TWO ARMS? TWO ARMS?
Have another and another
Our Cod says:
"There ain't no other!"
Our Cod says
"It's all okay!"
Our God says "This is the way!"
It says in the book:
"Burn 'n destroy. ..
'N repent, 'n redeem
'N revenge, 'n deploy
'N rumble thee forth
To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
'Cause they don't go for what's in the book
'N that makes 'em BAD
So verily we must choppeth them up
And stompeth them down
Or rent a nice French bomb
To poof them out of existence
While leaving their real estate just where we need it
To use again
For temples in which to praise OURGOD
("Cause he can really take care of business!")
And when his humble TV servant
With humble white hair
And humble glasses
And a nice brown suit
And maybe a blonde wife who takes phone calls
Tells us our God says
It's okay to do this stuff
Then we gotta do it,
'Cause if we don't do it,
We ain't gwine up to hebbin!
(Depending on which book you're using at the time...
Can't use theirs. . .it don't work . . .it's all lies...Gotta use mine...)
Ain't that right?
That's what they say
Every night...
Everyday. ..
Hey, we can't really be dumb
If we're just following
God's Orders
Hey, let's get serious...
God knows what he's doin'
He wrote this book here
An'the book says:
He made us all to be just like Him,"
so...
If we're dumb...
Then God is dumb...
(An' maybe even a little ugly on the side)

[Tero]

What Thing Fish?
Wiki:
The album's storyline is inspired by Broadway theatre, AIDS, eugenics, conspiracy theories, feminism, homosexuality and African American culture. It involves an evil, racist prince/theater critic who creates a disease intended to eradicate African Americans and homosexuals. The disease is tested on prisoners who are turned into "Mammy Nuns" led by the story's narrator, Thing-Fish.

[Tero]

Discussing bondage in the Senate:
Rev. Jeff Ling: Degradation. Humiliation. Thrusting, shoving. Animals humping.
Senator Hawkins: There's no absolute right to free speech
FZ: I don't think this is constitutional . . .
Tipper Gore: A voluntary labeling is not censorship . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Bend up and smell my anal vapor
Tipper Gore: A voluntary . . . voluntary . . . voluntary . . . A voluntary labeling is not censorship . . .

Rev. Jeff Ling: Degradation . . . humiliation . . . thrusting . . .
Senator Hawkins: Well . . .
Ref. Jeff Ling: Whips in their hands
Senator Hawkins: I'd be interested to see what toys your kids ever had
Rev. Jeff Ling: Gonna drive my love inside of you
Senator Hawkins: Well . . .
FZ: Is this private action?
Rev. Jeff Ling: In chains . . .
Senator Hawkins: Well . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Listen you little slut, do as you are told . . .
Senator Hawkins: There's no absolute right . . .
Senator Hawkins: There's no absolute right . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: My apologies
Senator Hawkins: There's no absolute right . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Whips in their hands
Senator Hawkins: Well . . .
FZ: Ladies, how dare you?
Senator Hawkins: Well . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Dressed in leather bondage masks . . .
Senator Hawkins: Well . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Brutal erotica
Senator Hollings: You and I would differ on what's ignorance and educated
FZ: Bondage!
Rev. Jeff Ling: Bend up and smell my anal vapor
Senator Hawkins: There's no . . . There's no . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Come with daddy!

Chairman: Mr. Zappa, thank you very much for your testimony.
FZ: Thank you.
http://globalia.net/donlope/fz/lyrics/F ... ntion.html

[Tero]

Zappa even took a look at the Trump Tower from his crystal ball. In the last verse substitute White House for City Hall:

"Brown Shoes Don't Make It"

Brown shoes don't make it
Brown Shoes don't make it
Quit school, why fake it
Brown shoes don't make it

TV dinner by the pool
Watch your brother grow a beard
Got another year of school
You're okay, he's too weird
Be a plummer
He's a bummer
He's a bummer every summer
Be a loyal plastic robot
For a world that doesn't care
That's right

Smile at every ugly
Shine on your shoes and cut your hair

Be a jerk-go to work
Be a jerk-go to work
Be a jerk-go to work
Be a jerk-go to work
Do your job, and do it right
Life's a ball
TV tonight
Do you love it
Do you hate it
There it is
The way you made it

A world of secret hungers
Perverting the men who make your laws
Every desire is hidden away
In a drawer in a desk by a Naugahyde chair
On a rug where they walk and drool
Past the girls in the office

We see in the back
Of the City Hall mind
The dream of a girl about thirteen
Off with her clothes and into a bed
Where she tickles his fancy
All night long

His wile's attending an orchid show
She squealed for a week to get him to go
But back in the bed his teen-age queen
Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene
Baby, baby. ..
Baby, baby. . .
Cimmie then cakes, uh!
If I do I'm gonna lose my...

And he loves it, he loves it
It curls up his toes
She wipes his fat neck
And it lights up his nose
But he cannot be fooled
Old City Hall Fred
She's nasty, she's nasty
She digs it in bed
That's right

Do it again, ha
And do it some more
Hey, that does it, by golly
And she's nasty for sure
Nasty nasty nasty
Nasty nasty nasty
Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty

She's a dirty young mind, corrupted
Corroded
Well she's thirteen today
And I hear she gets loaded

If she were my daughter, I'd...
What would you do, Frankie?
If she were my daughter, I'd ...
What would you do, Frankie?
Check this out
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby
Smother that girl in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby
She's my teen-age baby
She turns me on
I'd like to make her do a nasty
On the White House lawn
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And boogie 'till the cows come home

Time to go home
Madge is on the phone
Got to meet the Gurney's and a dozen gray attorneys
TV dinner by the pool
I'm so glad I finished school
Life is such a ball
I run the world from City Hall

[Tero]

Previous | Top | Notes & Comments | Songlist | Next
Understanding America
FZ—vocals
Warren Cuccurullo—rhythm guitar
Denny Walley—slide guitar
Peter Wolf—keyboards
Arthur Barrow—bass
Ed Mann—percussion
Vinnie Colaiuta—drums

Central Scrutinizer:

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . it is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that haven't been passed yet. It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually lead to The Death Penalty (or affect your parent's credit rating). Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong things . . . and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force called MUSIC!

Our studies have shown that this horrible force is so dangerous to society at large that laws are being drawn up at this very moment to stop it forever! Cruel and inhuman punishments are being carefully described in tiny paragraphs so they won't conflict with the Constitution (which, itself, is being modified in order to accommodate THE FUTURE).

I bring you now a special presentation to show what can happen to you if you choose a career in MUSIC . . . The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only . . . if you have to load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE . . . you'll love it . . . it's a way of life . . .

Hi, it's me, I'm back. This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only . . . if you gotta load or if you gotta unload, go to the WHITE ZONE . . . you'll love it . . . it's a way of life . . . that's right! You'll love it, it's a way of life, that's right, you'll love it, a way of life, right, love it . . . This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER

LATER
Central Scrutinizer:

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . again. Hi! . . . It's me again, the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . Joe says Lucille has messed his mind up, but, was it the girl or was it the music? As you can see . . . girls, music, disease, heartbreak . . . they all go together . . . Joe found out the hard way, but his troubles were just beginning . . . his mind was so messed up . . . he could hardly do nothin' . . . He was in a quandary . . . being devoured by the swirling cesspool of his own steaming desires . . . the guy was a wreck . . . so . . . what does he do? For once, he does something SMART . . . he goes out . . . and pays a lot of money to L. Ron Hoover . . . at the First . . . at the Pch . . . hem . . . he goes out . . . and pays a lot of money to L. Ron Hoover . . . at the First Church of Appliantology!

[Tero]

Central Scrutinizer became reality after 9-11
Homeland Security sees power grow under Trump

[Tero]

Zappa explains Republicans...with dirty words
http://globalia.net/donlope/fz/lyrics/D ... ocksuckers

“Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.”

[Tero]

Texas,WYOMING, IT'S all the same: