You Don't Bring Super Sonic Missiles to a Gun Fight

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Hovercraft.

Which are launched from LSDs or LHDs or LHAs. They're not ocean-going. So you still need ships.

[Gawd]

Hovercraft.

Which are launched from LSDs or LHDs or LHAs. They're not ocean-going. So you still need ships.

Not ocean-going? Hovercraft go on the ocean damn well, thank you very much. And I'm not talking about deinty one person hovercrafts.

[Ian]

Hovercraft.

Were you just making a joke there? 'Cause I honestly can't tell.

[Gawd]

Hovercraft.

Were you just making a joke there? 'Cause I honestly can't tell.

It's no joke. You use a whole armada of mid size hovercraft that each patrols a different route and staffed with the bare minimum of people but armed with machine guns and sniper rifles. You use the appropriate tools for the job, not nuclear powered carriers with a whole entire fleet of ships to patrol one point.

[Ian]

Hovercraft.

Were you just making a joke there? 'Cause I honestly can't tell.

It's no joke. You use a whole armada of mid size hovercraft that each patrols a different route and staffed with the bare minimum of people but armed with machine guns and sniper rifles. You use the appropriate tools for the job, not nuclear powered carriers with a whole entire fleet of ships to patrol one point.

Okay, I'm actually gonna ask some personal information about you: what naval warfare training do you have? 'Cause I would trust Gilligan's advice more than that asinine drivel!

Where are these "mid-size hovercraft" going to come from? Are you suggesting a major new naval construction program for the purposes of Somali piracy? Right now the US Navy uses LCACs, and nobody else really uses hovercraft. What organic air assets will they have (only possible answer: none)? What weapons besides "machine guns and sniper rifles" would they be armed with, and how? How are their rubber underplatforms supposed to stand up to gunfire or RPG launches? Where will they be based (they are NOT, by themselves, oceanworthy), on which large amphibious platforms? How are troops from the hovercraft supposed to board other vessels if they have no smaller boats or helicopters, shoot grappling hooks? What radar sensors would be put on them - there's nothing powerful enough to cover the large swaths of ocean necessary that'll fit on a "mid-size hovercraft". And lastly, since you've probably never seen an LCAC operate, how they bloody fucking hell are they even supposed to see pirate boats with all the water spray flying around them when they move?

I honestly think you're just messing with us. I'm going to mention this idea I heard "from somebody" when I'm at work tomorrow just to see the laughs it gets.

[Gawd]

Funny thing, Ian, you and your death squad have "naval training" and all those nuclear powered ships costing billions of dollars each year, yet you can't even stop pirates with any degree of efficiency. You guys should be fired for your incompetence. It is exactly your kind of elitist thinking that make the American military incompetent and create hundreds of billions of dollars in deficits each year.

[Seth]

wouldn't it be cheaper, and nicer, to use the money spent on defence giving real aid to somalians

We tried that. Didn't work because they are ignorant barbarians. The warlords in Mogadishu left international food aid to rot on the docks so they could use it as a weapon of war. Then they shot down a couple of our Blackhawks and that fucking coward Clinton turned tail and ran, instead of dumping a B-52 load of JDAMs on the rebel sector of Mogadishu.

Fuck 'em, they had their chance.

[Ian]

Funny thing, Ian, you and your death squad have "naval training" and all those nuclear powered ships costing billions of dollars each year, yet you can't even stop pirates with any degree of efficiency. You guys should be fired for your incompetence. It is exactly your kind of elitist thinking that make the American military incompetent and create hundreds of billions of dollars in deficits each year.

In other words: you don't have any solutions, you don't understand the details of the subject, therefore you don't have the first damn clue what you're talking about, and all you can do is bitch about what you see as a less than perfect situation. Too bad those twenty-plus nations with navies in the Indian Ocean (and no hovercraft!) didn't consult with Admiral Gawd first.

Ignorance and arrogance go hand in hand. You're don't understand naval operations in the slightest bit, but you've managed to barf up an opinion anyway. Some advice: for your own sake, try learning the art of NOT speaking so much on subjects you know nothing about. Why would this help you? Look at it this way: you should note that I don't actually say a whole lot about Israel itself, and it's because I really don't give a rat's ass for Israel or the Palestinians, and thus I don't follow the subjects too closely. But naval warfare is something I know plenty about. And when I see opinions as retarded as the ones you've posted here, it only leads me to think that your reasoning on other subjects is equally pathetic.

(Hovercraft!! OMFG I still can't believe I heard that.)

There is one genuinely effective solution to Somali piracy though. Unfortunately, it's Seth's solution: bomb the bejesus out of the few pirate bases on the east coast of Somalia, and bomb again if new ones pop up. Of course, that won't do much for the large number of hijacked ships that are sitting there at any given time. And the international community might have some things to say about the extensive collateral damage, considering most people in those villages are just civilians. But it'll work.

[Gawd]

Funny thing, Ian, you and your death squad have "naval training" and all those nuclear powered ships costing billions of dollars each year, yet you can't even stop pirates with any degree of efficiency. You guys should be fired for your incompetence. It is exactly your kind of elitist thinking that make the American military incompetent and create hundreds of billions of dollars in deficits each year.

In other words: you don't have any solutions, you don't understand the details of the subject, therefore you don't have the first damn clue what you're talking about, and all you can do is bitch about what you see as a less than perfect situation. Too bad those twenty-plus nations with navies in the Indian Ocean (and no hovercraft!) didn't consult with Admiral Gawd first.

Ignorance and arrogance go hand in hand. You're don't understand naval operations in the slightest bit, but you've managed to barf up an opinion anyway. Some advice: for your own sake, try learning the art of NOT speaking so much on subjects you know nothing about. Why would this help you? Look at it this way: you should note that I don't actually say a whole lot about Israel itself, and it's because I really don't give a rat's ass for Israel or the Palestinians, and thus I don't follow the subjects too closely. But naval warfare is something I know plenty about. And when I see opinions as retarded as the ones you've posted here, it only leads me to think that your reasoning on other subjects is equally pathetic.

(Hovercraft!! OMFG I still can't believe I heard that.)

There is one genuinely effective solution to Somali piracy though. Unfortunately, it's Seth's solution: bomb the bejesus out of the few pirate bases on the east coast of Somalia, and bomb again if new ones pop up. Of course, that won't do much for the large number of hijacked ships that are sitting there at any given time. And the international community might have some things to say about the extensive collateral damage, considering most people in those villages are just civilians. But it'll work.

In other words: you don't have any solutions, you like to plunder hundreds of billions of dollars every year into military gluttony, and you don't have the first damn clue as to how to solve the solution without dropping a nuclear bomb. All you can do is bitch about how you are so supreme and elitist. Too bad you and those twenty-plus nations with navies have not even made a dent into piracy caused by untrained men in run of the mill speed boats.

Ignorance and arrogance go hand in hand. You think you are such a genius and and infallible but you can't for the life of your incompetency see that you could be wrong. Some advice: for your own sake, try learning the art of LISTENING. Why would this help you? Well it won't, since you're American and will just drop bombs anyways with complete disregard. You think that America is so great but you haven't learned the first thing from Vietnam or how to fight against guerrilla warfare.

Hovercraft are faster than other boats of comparable size since they run on a cushion of air and they are able to rub alongside other boats because of their rubber skirts. You think hovercraft of the right size will not work since you must feed your insatiable appetite for billion dollar carriers. Well guess what Ian, guerrilla fighters thrive when the ignorant and pompous men that fight them can't think outside the box. And your box is very small. For the cost of one of your carriers, you can build a whole armada of ocean going hovercraft.

[Seabass]

Hovercraft.

Post of the century.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Hovercraft.

Post of the century.

Only if they're full of eels.

[Coito ergo sum]

Funny thing, Ian, you and your death squad have "naval training" and all those nuclear powered ships costing billions of dollars each year, yet you can't even stop pirates with any degree of efficiency. You guys should be fired for your incompetence. It is exactly your kind of elitist thinking that make the American military incompetent and create hundreds of billions of dollars in deficits each year.

If the American military is incompetent, then there is no such thing as a competent military and never has been.

[Don't Panic]

Funny thing, Ian, you and your death squad have "naval training" and all those nuclear powered ships costing billions of dollars each year, yet you can't even stop pirates with any degree of efficiency. You guys should be fired for your incompetence. It is exactly your kind of elitist thinking that make the American military incompetent and create hundreds of billions of dollars in deficits each year.

In other words: you don't have any solutions, you don't understand the details of the subject, therefore you don't have the first damn clue what you're talking about, and all you can do is bitch about what you see as a less than perfect situation. Too bad those twenty-plus nations with navies in the Indian Ocean (and no hovercraft!) didn't consult with Admiral Gawd first.

Ignorance and arrogance go hand in hand. You're don't understand naval operations in the slightest bit, but you've managed to barf up an opinion anyway. Some advice: for your own sake, try learning the art of NOT speaking so much on subjects you know nothing about. Why would this help you? Look at it this way: you should note that I don't actually say a whole lot about Israel itself, and it's because I really don't give a rat's ass for Israel or the Palestinians, and thus I don't follow the subjects too closely. But naval warfare is something I know plenty about. And when I see opinions as retarded as the ones you've posted here, it only leads me to think that your reasoning on other subjects is equally pathetic.

(Hovercraft!! OMFG I still can't believe I heard that.)

There is one genuinely effective solution to Somali piracy though. Unfortunately, it's Seth's solution: bomb the bejesus out of the few pirate bases on the east coast of Somalia, and bomb again if new ones pop up. Of course, that won't do much for the large number of hijacked ships that are sitting there at any given time. And the international community might have some things to say about the extensive collateral damage, considering most people in those villages are just civilians. But it'll work.

In other words: you don't have any solutions, you like to plunder hundreds of billions of dollars every year into military gluttony, and you don't have the first damn clue as to how to solve the solution without dropping a nuclear bomb. All you can do is bitch about how you are so supreme and elitist. Too bad you and those twenty-plus nations with navies have not even made a dent into piracy caused by untrained men in run of the mill speed boats.

Ignorance and arrogance go hand in hand. You think you are such a genius and and infallible but you can't for the life of your incompetency see that you could be wrong. Some advice: for your own sake, try learning the art of LISTENING. Why would this help you? Well it won't, since you're American and will just drop bombs anyways with complete disregard. You think that America is so great but you haven't learned the first thing from Vietnam or how to fight against guerrilla warfare.

Hovercraft are faster than other boats of comparable size since they run on a cushion of air and they are able to rub alongside other boats because of their rubber skirts. You think hovercraft of the right size will not work since you must feed your insatiable appetite for billion dollar carriers. Well guess what Ian, guerrilla fighters thrive when the ignorant and pompous men that fight them can't think outside the box. And your box is very small. For the cost of one of your carriers, you can build a whole armada of ocean going hovercraft.

Gawd, seriously?

An armada of ocean going hovercraft?



So about 10 years before they get past the design stage, 5 years for competing entries for the tender, 5 more years for appropriations, and probably 3-5 more for them to enter production, 23-25 years and you have spent the cost of a couple of carriers to design a vessel for a problem which may not exist anymore.

[Coito ergo sum]

Funny thing, Ian, you and your death squad have "naval training" and all those nuclear powered ships costing billions of dollars each year, yet you can't even stop pirates with any degree of efficiency. You guys should be fired for your incompetence. It is exactly your kind of elitist thinking that make the American military incompetent and create hundreds of billions of dollars in deficits each year.

In other words: you don't have any solutions, you don't understand the details of the subject, therefore you don't have the first damn clue what you're talking about, and all you can do is bitch about what you see as a less than perfect situation. Too bad those twenty-plus nations with navies in the Indian Ocean (and no hovercraft!) didn't consult with Admiral Gawd first.

Ignorance and arrogance go hand in hand. You're don't understand naval operations in the slightest bit, but you've managed to barf up an opinion anyway. Some advice: for your own sake, try learning the art of NOT speaking so much on subjects you know nothing about. Why would this help you? Look at it this way: you should note that I don't actually say a whole lot about Israel itself, and it's because I really don't give a rat's ass for Israel or the Palestinians, and thus I don't follow the subjects too closely. But naval warfare is something I know plenty about. And when I see opinions as retarded as the ones you've posted here, it only leads me to think that your reasoning on other subjects is equally pathetic.

(Hovercraft!! OMFG I still can't believe I heard that.)

There is one genuinely effective solution to Somali piracy though. Unfortunately, it's Seth's solution: bomb the bejesus out of the few pirate bases on the east coast of Somalia, and bomb again if new ones pop up. Of course, that won't do much for the large number of hijacked ships that are sitting there at any given time. And the international community might have some things to say about the extensive collateral damage, considering most people in those villages are just civilians. But it'll work.

In other words: you don't have any solutions, you like to plunder hundreds of billions of dollars every year into military gluttony, and you don't have the first damn clue as to how to solve the solution without dropping a nuclear bomb. All you can do is bitch about how you are so supreme and elitist. Too bad you and those twenty-plus nations with navies have not even made a dent into piracy caused by untrained men in run of the mill speed boats.

Ignorance and arrogance go hand in hand. You think you are such a genius and and infallible but you can't for the life of your incompetency see that you could be wrong. Some advice: for your own sake, try learning the art of LISTENING. Why would this help you? Well it won't, since you're American and will just drop bombs anyways with complete disregard. You think that America is so great but you haven't learned the first thing from Vietnam or how to fight against guerrilla warfare.

Hovercraft are faster than other boats of comparable size since they run on a cushion of air and they are able to rub alongside other boats because of their rubber skirts. You think hovercraft of the right size will not work since you must feed your insatiable appetite for billion dollar carriers. Well guess what Ian, guerrilla fighters thrive when the ignorant and pompous men that fight them can't think outside the box. And your box is very small. For the cost of one of your carriers, you can build a whole armada of ocean going hovercraft.

Gawd, seriously?

An armada of ocean going hovercraft?



So about 10 years before they get past the design stage, 5 years for competing entries for the tender, 5 more years for appropriations, and probably 3-5 more for them to enter production, 23-25 years and you have spent the cost of a couple of carriers to design a vessel for a problem which may not exist anymore.

Well, I suppose you could put the hovercraft on large transport ships, and launch them closer to the Somali coast....but, then again that would mean that we'd have a group of ships all together, which is something Gawd thinks is just way over the top. Gawd wants the US to send only one ship, or a few small ships, and then all other support craft have to stay a certain distance away. He hasn't specified how far away that is, or why support craft would not be allowed, or why battle groups ought not move together....

[Don't Panic]

Well, I suppose you could put the hovercraft on large transport ships, and launch them closer to the Somali coast....but, then again that would mean that we'd have a group of ships all together, which is something Gawd thinks is just way over the top. Gawd wants the US to send only one ship, or a few small ships, and then all other support craft have to stay a certain distance away. He hasn't specified how far away that is, or why support craft would not be allowed, or why battle groups ought not move together....

I know, lets make them nuclear powered hovercraft so they can make the journey from their bases in the US under their own power, and since we're sending them that far they might need a few aircraft for defence, and maybe some airborne radar, and a few search aircraft, and a few attack bombers, but then they might be too heavy to hover, so we'll have to go with a conventional hull. But that will be kinda expensive so maybe we should protect our investment by sending a few smaller faster ships with it just in case.

So what we need is a nuclear powered ship that can carry aircraft, someone submit a design for that to the pentagon.