Local news...not The Onion

[Tero]

Utah man survives in hut in Alaska since Sep.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/11/us/man-s ... index.html

[Tero]

Authorities say a burglary suspect slipped and broke his leg while he and a woman were reportedly taking items from a Lincoln apartment.

Lincoln police officers responded to the Waterbrook Apartments around 1 p.m. Tuesday on a burglary call.

An 18-year-old woman told officers she saw two people she knew - a man and a woman - leaving her apartment with her belongings in hand. The woman reported she saw the man on the ground holding her stolen TV and yelling he had broken his leg. The suspects then got in a truck and left before officers arrived.

Later, police got a call at a local hospital that a man had arrived to get treatment for a broken leg. Officers responded and identified the man as the suspect. Police said, due to the extensive injury, the man will remain at the hospital for treatment before being cited (his name was not released).

The female suspect, identified by police as Sherry L. Gomez, was arrested for burglary.

Police say $2,200 dollars worth of items, including the TV, a phone, and a wallet with cash inside were recovered from the suspects' vehicle that was in the hospital parking lot.

[Sean Hayden]

There's a rule in there somewhere.

[Tero]

Man invests in sex toy, condom and pays 200 to mom of teen girl and...
https://nebraska.tv/news/local/lincoln- ... king-sting
Got stung.

[Tero]

Two semis crash killing one driver
https://www.1011now.com/content/news/Po ... _1011_News
Hauling toilet paper to Walmart, happy meals to McDonalds warehouse, stringbeans to Utah, or whatever.

[NineBerry]

[Tero]

Oh well, letters are so last century. He should get one of them pad like window thingies. You just tap it and talk to the grand kids.

[Tero]

America drinks and goes home. I mean goes home and drinks.
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/03/1 ... ars-132149

[Hermit]

What about grandma?

Baltimore Mayor Begs Residents To Stop Shooting Each Other So Hospital Beds Can Be Used For Coronavirus Patients

He urged people to put down their guns because “we cannot clog up our hospitals and their beds with people that are being shot senselessly because we’re going to need those beds for people infected with the coronavirus. And it could be your mother, your grandmother or one of your relatives. So take that into consideration.”

It was a bit of a tossup between placing this post here, the Covid-19 thread, the Only in America thread or - to finally satisfy our member from Yellowknife that I have found something positive to say about the US president - in the Trump's achievements thread.

[Tero]

Fox news host and Trump toadie Jessie Watters marries 27-year old with nice ass

[Tero]

[Tero]

Life goes on. Despite virus.

[Tero]

We din't have alligators, so we use pit bulls.
LINCOLN, Neb. (KOLN) - Lincoln Police arrested a 17-year-old Wednesday night after he reportedly stabbed a man during an argument over four stolen Pitbull puppies.

https://www.1011now.com/2020/07/30/brea ... -hospital/

[Tero]

The Jeep continued driving in a reckless manner, with speeds in excess of 100 miles per hour. As troopers continued the pursuit, officers with the Kearney Police Department were able to successfully deploy stop sticks to bring the vehicle to a stop near mile marker 275.

Both occupants then fled on foot into a cornfield. The NSP Aviation Support Division and Police Service Dog Division were called-in to assist in the search, as well as the Kearney Police Department and Buffalo County Sheriff’s Office. After approximately three hours, both subjects were located separately.

The driver, Christopher Cornell, 26, of Brighton, Colorado, and passenger, Deoviyon Overstreet, 21, of Aurora, Colorado were arrested for possession of marijuana – between one ounce and one pound, possession of a firearm by a prohibited person, possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony, violation of a protection order, possession of a firearm during a drug violation, failure to obey a lawful order, and obstructing a peace officer.

[Tero]

Man tears up store after misplacing dope pipe
https://www.1011now.com/2020/11/25/lpd- ... dope-pipe/